What Book Are You?

Taking a cue from Lagartija and Mags, I took the What Book Are You Quiz. Results as follows:

You're The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!
by C.S. Lewis

You were just looking for some decent clothes when everything changed
quite dramatically. For the better or for the worse, it is still hard to tell. Now it
seems like winter will never end and you feel cursed. Soon there will be an epic
struggle between two forces in your life and you are very concerned about a betrayal
that could turn the balance. If this makes it sound like you're re-enacting Christian
theological events, that may or may not be coincidence. When in doubt, put your trust
in zoo animals.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

The second time around I was The Giver which comes with this description: While you grew up with a sheltered childhood, you're pretty sure everyone around you is even more sheltered. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, you were tapped on the shoulder and transported to the real world. This made you horrified by your prior upbringing and now you're tormented by how to reconcile these two lives. Ultimately, the struggle comes down to that old free will issue. Choose wisely.

Choose wisely. The new motto for Asiankp's 08 Year.

Sleep Apnea*

* thanks to Mags for the correct spelling

I have no idea what the word really means but I thought it would be a nice title for this post. Its almost 1 am and I'm still wide awake. Lately, I've been going to bed around 3 or 4am and then waking up around 11am the next day. I do not recommend this lifestyle but I've adopted it lately since I havent had a full time job since September. Therefore, I do it because I can. Here are some other things I do because I can:

-make Asian jokes
-drink vodka with V8 Berry Splash
-blog at 1am in the morning
-watch 3 movies in one day
-dance around my apartment naked

I'm not saying these are necessarily good things and I'm pretty sure the only one that really applies to what I'm getting at is the first one.

Katulia Pryiles (hint: Its a portmanteau)

So, I had to copy my cousin, Lagartija and do this. The result is hilarious seeing as the My Heritage site doesnt take into account skin color or nationality.



Ahh...its a little scary when my face starts to eat itself.

Worst of the Worst

So the holidays give me lots of time to think. And while I'm on the subject of thinking, I'd like to share with you thoughts that have been permeating my brain lately. Bad actresses.

Without further ado:

Asiankp's List of Actresses who Make Her Throw up in Her Mouth:

1.) Kirsten Dunst--with the exception of Bring it On where I feel she was just being herself, the girl is flat out awful. Just awful. I can't watch any movie with her without cringing. The proof: Spiderman 1,2,3,; Marie Antoniette; Elizabethtown; Beatiful; pretty much any movie she's done.

2.) Cameron Diaz--I know she's pretty but seriously, did anyone else see her "crying" scene in The Holiday?

3.) Kate Bosworth--another pretty face but sadly, a no-talent ass clown. The thing is, I think she has it in her, the right project just hasnt come along. Unfortunately, Superman, Blue Crush and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton did.

4.) Halle Berry--I know she won an Oscar but apparently the Academy tends to overlook stuff like Gothika and Catwoman.

5.) Katie Holmes--even pre-Tom Cruise brainwash, she was only mediocre. If you have a soft spot in your heart for her character Joey of Dawson's Creek fame, just watch Batman Begins.

6.) Jessica Simpson--enough said. Dont quit your dayjob.

7.) Hillary Duff--ditto on Jessica.

On the fence: Jennifer Aniston, Romola Garai, Lindsay Lohan, Heather Graham

Feel free to add your own to this list. I know I'm forgetting someone.

Post Christmas Post

Christmas has come and gone but my bellyache still lingers. It must have been the 4 gingerbread men I ate last night. Dont judge. If you saw those gingerbread men, I'm sure you would have eaten 4 too. They were practically begging me to eat them. Groveling, in fact. I'm sure I can think of a million ways to justify eating them but the real honest reason is that I have no willpower and I love frosting with sprinkles and the smell of gingerbread.

Baby Jesus' birthday was a pretty rockin party. We had a rousing game of salad bowl and decided to mix it up a little bit by playing the singles vs. married couples. Pretty close game and I'm pretty loathe to admit that the married folk beat us by 4 points. I dont want to point fingers but a certain cousin who will remain nameless could have easily won us the game had she not had a brain freeze. But, no hard feelings Mags. Really. I loved watching my parents victory "dance" and the subsequent gloating that followed. Food was good as always. Nothing can beat an Italian Christmas.

In terms of gifts, I ended up with a nice haul. My folks got me a mini video recorder called the Small Wonder which I have affectionately dubbed, Little Buddy. Anyway, its similar to a video camera but smaller and equipped with software that makes it easy to email, post, etc. Perhaps I shall turn this blog into a video blog or vlog, but I'm on the fence about that because that would mean I would have to show my face.

My father is sitting behind me begging me to go see the new Nic Cage movie. you know, that National Treasure: Book of Secrets movie. He is relentless. He will not let me finish typing until I give him an answer.....umm...maybe? Okay, that seems to sedate him. Oh no wait, he's back....yes Dad....yes Dad....okay, I should run and explain to him how Nic Cage is not the new actor for the millenium.

OH yeah in OH

Its 60 degrees and gorgeous in Ohio today. I'm on hour 22 of this whirlwind trip but let me tell you, it's been amazing. I'd like to insert my favorite cliche here to describe the experience: Good food, good family and good fun. My little cousin is currently infatuated with all things Pirates so we just played Pirates of the Caribbean in the backyard and before he does anything he asks, "Do pirates eat sausage?" or "Do pirates take naps?" or my favorite, "Do pirates have Christmas?" He's so cool. He has also taken to reciting lines from the Pirate movies so he'll stand up on a chair and shout at the top of his lungs, "DO WE HAVE AN ACCORD MEN??" Its so refreshing and genuinely sweet to see kids be so excited about something. When was the last time we were so excited about something that we breathed, ate and slept it? I can only speak for myself when I say that time has come and gone. And I miss it.

Breaking up is hard to do...

I was winning the game. See, my roommate and I started a game to pass the time while smoking. We had a rather large pot at the bottom of our staircase so we would take turns trying to get the butts in the pot. (That sentence is so weird to write.) Anyway, if you got the cig butt in, you got two points. If it went in off the rim, you got one. Well, I was kicking butt until my roommate decided to quit smoking without asking me. So, I was regulated to either play the game by myself or be lulled into a false sense of victory. I took the latter which would explain why I posted this picture and took to the world wide interweb to brag about my dominance of our cig-in-the-pot game.

I'm also sitting here, while my roommates are snug in bed, waiting for my folks to pick me up for our impromptu 24 hour visit to Ohio which would explain the lame post because I feel like I should blog about waiting to go on this trip but I dont really have anything to say except it surprises me that my folks have decided to be so impromptu at this stage in their life. What will they think of next? Reading my blog? Heavens to Betsy, hell no.

2 Sticks and a Knife

So my cousin has been out in the mountains of Utah working at a wilderness therapy program for troubled teens. Its a pretty heavy deal but he's doing awesome and the work sounds challenging but fulfilling. Anyway, one of things they do with the kids is teach them to start a fire without matches or any lighter fluid. Nothing else but two sticks, tree bark, and a knife. I was doubtful about the process but then he demonstrated for me right there on the porch in the middle of a Chicago neighborhood. And let me tell you, it was the COOLEST thing I've ever seen. I want to explain it but wont be able to do it justice. However, watching him make this primitive fire was like being transported in time and I was a caveman smacking my head against the wall while a smarter homosapien was rubbing two sticks together and creating magic. Okay, thats a stretch...but it was like that. It earned my utmost respect and admiration. So thats that. The quickest way to my heart is to make me a fire using two sticks and knife.

Elsewhere, our bathroom is going through some renovation. Basically we have water damage to our bathroom floor which is causing cracked tiles which is causing the ceiling below to slowly cave in which is causing our creeping landlord to come over more than usual. So anyway, the bathroom is being renovated (FINALLY) because my landlord finally got the point that when I'm sitting on the toilet, I feel like I'm going to fall right through the floor. So in one sense I'm happy about the problem finally being fixed but another part of me worries that a 3-day job is going to turn into a 3-week job and I'm going to end up with some sick ill-matching tile on the floor.

Although this made me laugh when I came home:

Awesome. Now we can do our laundry and do our business at the same time. Two birds, one stone.

Got Rice?

One of my favorite videos that I recently re-discovered. Not for kids. Rated PG13 for language and disturbing cartoon images.

Its beginning to look alot like Christmas

Now, I dont mean to brag or nothing but I am quite fond of wrapping packages in brown paper...you know...like the song: Brown paper packages tied up with string...these are a few of my favorite things. And I think I'm darn good at it.

And another with color:

And finally, the snow has fallen and it is B-E-A-UTIFUL.

Online Shopping

Saturdays are usually useless. I sleep in late and the only thing that separates Saturdays from the rest of the week for me is that my roommates are home. Such is the life of the unemployed citizen. However, this morning was entirely productive. I woke up at a decent hour and spent the morning cleaning and Christmas shopping online. I resisted the urge to shop in my underwear and showered and put on clothing. Crazy, I know. Here's the thing, online shopping is awesome. With 2 clicks of a button, you are safe from long lines, annoying holiday help and clusterfucks. Also, prices seem to be more reasonable. For example a book that I wanted to buy from Barnes and Noble cost $25.00 in store but $15.00 at Amazon and with shipping costs, its still cheaper than going to B&N. So here is my holiday advice: Shop online.

Another random thingy- Pushing Daisies was nominated for 3 Golden Globes, including Best New Comedy/Musical Series on TV. Hoo-rah. Its about time the Hollywood Foreign Press acknowledges something other than the Sopranos, Greys Anatomy and 24.

Apologies in Advance

So, Fort Knocks has thrown out a meme and I cannot refuse. It goes as follows:

1. Find a poem (or two, if you're ambitious) that you wrote in high school. If you can't find a poem, find a piece of prose. If you can't find a piece of prose, find a history paper or something.

2. Post it!

3. Tag three people to do the same.

So, here begins the humiliation. In my high school English class, we had two options for the final. Write a paper or write 2 poems on one theme we had discussed. This is the result:

A flower with a perfect bud
Nipped and developed
Planted deep within the sod
Growing and flourishing
Never wilts and never faulters
It's growing all the time
Soon it will be fine as wine
Try to grasp reality,
We are not perfect, it and me.

A work of art
With such flourish
Making like a whirling dervish
Colors smart and shine like the sun
As a childs face while having fun
The frame is cold, the artist old
But still the painting leaves me cold
Try to grasp reality,
We are not perfect, it and me.

Perfect face and hands and feet
Always trimmed, always neat
Never a hair out of place
Powdered white and pretty face
Groomed for style and pampered too
Frosty like the morning dew
Try to grasp reality,
We are not perfect, you and me.

Totally cringe-worthy. So now, I tag Mags, LaGartija, and Laughing Salmon.

There IS such a thing as trying too hard

I don't mean to be Captain Obvious here but I have noticed that a majority of people I know are trying too hard. Plain and simple. Just trying too hard. It is noticeable in the way they talk, write, act and many other actions that humans do. I myself have been guilty of trying too hard but what I've seen lately is just making me sick to my stomach. I want to call them out but I fear the repercussions so I think I'll just sit back and laugh to myself at all the silly people who are trying just too damn hard.

Winter Wonderland

Yesterday, I went to visit my friend who is teaching at LFA, a private prep boarding school in one of the richest neighborhoods in the country. Several of the students who attend live in castles and their fathers own fighter jets just for fun. The school however does NOT disappoint. I was thoroughly impressed with the architecture of the school, it was rather Victorian, I think...and a majority of the classes are held in a giant mansion affectionately called The Mansion. The grounds are impressive as well. There is a section that reminded me of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon touched with icicles and fresh powdery snow. The students seemed pretty normal although I did manage to identify the Plastic girls right away. If you dont know what I mean when I refer to the Plastics then we have no business being friends. All in all, it was a good day.

But back to reality, I was perusing the Chicago craigslist ads today and saw a posting for a FEMALE personal assistant for established Hollywood Producer. Naturally I was intruiged which occurs 97% of the time I'm on craigslist. They dont ask for much, just a resume and a picture. Part of me is dying to apply, just to see. However, jobs that often require a picture make me wary. It seems to me that by asking for a picture, this prospective employer desires someone fairly attractive. This was also evident by the specific capitalization of the word FEMALE in the title. Which annoys me. Why ask for a picture? Just put in your description: Seeking someone highly attractive with low body mass index and nice skin and big boobs. By asking for a picture, it implies that looks are incredibly important because a.) you are going places and want to get noticed by having some hot arm candy or b.) you are incredibly shallow and materialistic or c.) you are going to use this female personal assistant for something other than errands. Why else would you ask for a picture?
So should I apply? And should I send a picture? Maybe I'll go on the internet and send a picture of some famous movie star instead. Like Lucy Lui. Then I'll show up at the interview being entirely NOT Lucy Lui. Yeah, that'll show 'em. Common Citizen--2 points. Big Bad Hollywood--0.

My Cookies bring all the boys to the yard...

Damn right...it's better than yours. My cookies (see below for full story) turned out awesome. Deliciously awesome and I did end up using the mint cocoa powder and it tastes just fine. Better than fine. The mix of mint, butterscotch, and white chocolate is actually a party in your mouth.

I'm off to Lake Forest this morning to visit a friend who is teaching up there at the local, elitist boarding school. I'm going to take a tour of the vast grounds which will be touched with a tinge of wintry goodness. Some stops on the tour include the Mansion and Some Distinguished Person's Name Library Hall. I used to always imagine what it would be like to attend boarding school and I always wanted to be one of those girls that sort of ruled the roost as the rebel--you know--who busts the rich girl for cheating or sneaks in refugees. But then I think of all the movies centered around boarding schools and how the kids have a tough life with tough stuff going on at home and parents who dont love them and I figured that my Protestant-bent, autonomous, regimented high school experience was good enough.

And a P.S.

I like this blue for the blog. Do you? Or is it too blue?

Fascination with Pies

So lately, I've been having a fascination with all things pie. For example, my new favorite show is called Pushing Daisies which is all about a pie-maker. And today, I saw a movie called Waitress which is about a young woman in an unhappy marriage who finds her release in pie-making. Perhaps its more a credit to the directors and artistic directors because what is so fascinating is the process of the pie making. And the way they film it and the details they take in creating that effect for viewers. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

It has even inspired me to start baking more. So today, I'm going to make white chocolate and butterscotch cookies. Could these two ingredients be gross together? Probably, but I dont care. I'm reckless like that. But then again chocolate and butterscotch are pretty divine things so it can't be that bad. The thing is, the receipe calls for 1 tsp of Nestle Toll House cocoa baking powder. I'm not sure we have it...in fact, I positive we dont...so do you think I can just use mint cocoa powder instead?

So remember my previous post about that woman whose husband liked to make racial slurs because he thought minorities would find them funny...

Well, if you dont you can read it here. But anyway, I finally met this man on Saturday night. And he was just as vile, thoughtless and ignorant as I imagined.

Mission Accomplished Part Deux

Thats funny. When I started to type in the title of this post, it reminded me that I've already used this title. Hence, the part deux. What did I accomplish? Well for starters, I finally got a gift for the FCPE, which, I think, is pretty awesome. Even if no one else likes it, I'll steal if for myself.
I have two parties to attend this evening. Should be a good weekend.

Novena just ended. I hope all my praying pays off.

On Location...

So there is a movie being filmed in my neighborhood today. Actually, its just a few short blocks from my apartment. After a calculated trip to the nearby market, one of the security guards told me it was Jennifer Aniston and some other starts filming for a new HBO series. At first I was excited but then realized he might be lying kinda like when they were filming the Batman movie downtown and when people asked what they were filming, PAs and security personnel were instructed to say it was a film called Chris Nolans Great Adventure. (FYI: Chris Nolan is actually the director of the film). So I didnt get my hopes up but did manage to send an email to my roommates stating that Jennifer Aniston was in our neighborhood. To it's truth I cannot attest but it sounded cool in an email. However because of the film, 1 side of all the surrounding streets have been blocked off and labeled no parking zones at the behest of the Chicago PD. Now this is annoying on many levels because a.) I couldnt drive to the market because it was so crowded and I had to walk. Damn those bastards for making me exercise. and b.) there is no place to park in a 2 block radius of my apartment which makes for a very uncomfortable hike in 20 degree weather.

On the other hand, its pretty exciting to see the movie trailers lining the streets and signs on your familiar stomping grounds that say: This way to set. The starstruck schoolgirl in me is loving it.

2 Things

Thing #1: Another one of my blogging friends has made her blog an "invite-only" blog. Now, I think its shenanigans. Make it public already. Or if you are worried about weird predators on the Internet, then I can protect you. Either way, this is all about me and my ego so just let me view it already. I don't want to miss out anymore on your witty repertoire.

Thing #2: My downstairs neighbors are pretty cool. They invite us to do stuff occasionally and they comiserate with us regarding our Norman Bates-like landlord. But they do weird stuff. Like playing their music so loud that my butt vibrates as I'm trying to eat my lunch. Seriously. Around 2oclock this afternoon, I'm sitting down to a ham and cheese sandwich and going to catch up on the latest episode of Chuck when all of sudden my chair and my butt are bouncing around uncomfortably. I thought at first I was having some fated flatulence but no, it was just good vibrations. It would be ironic if that was the song, but alas, its some indecipherable banging and wailing.

And I lied...there's three things. Thing #3: I went to a yoga class today. My friend had suggested it was a good idea, you know, something to try out. Let me just say it was awesome. It energized me for the entire day so I think I'm going to go back on Saturday, contort my body and "squeeze out all the remaining negative toxins". Direct quote from my instructor.

One of those moments...

So, here am I in my bathrobe contemplating whether or not I should go food shopping. I haven't been to the grocery store in about 3 or 4 weeks, which is kinda criminal because it means I've been eating my roommates food but also kinda understandable since we just had a holiday that involves major leftovers and I spent 1 of those weeks at home eating all the good foodstuffs I want at no cost.
But the thing is...the decision to go shopping (and bear with me because I'm about to be overly analytical) is not just about getting food because I'm starving, its about having the gumption to get up and get something accomplished. Now, I'm not starting at a real good place because I know that shopping is something that people do everyday, heck, maybe even twice a day and its not something that one usually labels an "accomplishment." But since I am not working full time and am lacking for motivation in life at this point, going shopping will be an accomplishment. Which leads me to think about accomplishment in general. I dont feel that, at this point in my life, I've accomplished much. Sure, I've had a good job here and there and yes I graduated college but all these things seem like the norm to me. Recently, a whole slew of friends made big decisions in their lives which will, no doubt, foster a sense of accomplishment. One is working out in the wilderness with at risk teens--he up and made a big move knowing no one out there. Another just got a job and is working on her nursing certification. Another is an amazing mom with a baby on the way. Another moved to Spain to au pair and do something she's talked about doing for the past 4 years. Another is getting married in a few months and couldnt be happier. And still others are working hard and giving their best in whatever job they have even if its not their desired position. These are accomplishments. And they will serve to make these people better people in the long run.
So, will I go shopping? Probably. My stomach is growling way to much to ignore. And maybe, just maybe, this small victory will serve as the first in a long line of accomplishments.

The F.C.P.E

Family. Christmas. Present. Exchange. This year, all the cousins are doing our 2nd Annual FCPE. Its more like Yankee Swap or as my friend Dwight calls it, Machiavelli meets Christmas. The problem is I have absolutely no idea what to get. Last year, I bought the Die Hard trilogy set-quality holiday flicks. I'd like to think it was a hot item. I think I want to go in the movie direction again but I'm not sure which ones to get. I was thinking of getting a variety of movies from several different genres you know...like a movie starter kit...or something. My creativitiy is at an all-time low and I have no idea why. I'll blame the weather. This is a lame post so I'll spice it up a bit by including my new favorite video, starring Linda and Howie.

One of those hilarious videos that makes you pee your pants...

So, my roommate showed me this video. I was laughing non-stop for about 20 minutes during and after. She also shared this wonderful story:

Her younger sister used to participate in track and field relays. For those not familiar with relays, runners pass a baton between each other while completing different sections of the track. During a hand-off, the one handing off the baton will yell, "Stick" while the other runner will take off and throw their hand behind their back to receive the stick without breaking stride. In this particular case, my roommate's sister was receiving the baton. Her teammate yelled "Stick" so she took off running positioning her hand behind her back to receive the baton. However, the baton never came. Her teammate, in a misconstrued effort to hand off the baton, proceeded to jam the baton as hard as she could into the girls ass. Or rather right between the two cheeks. In the heat of the moment, she had missed the hand and hit where the sun don't shine. Ouch.

The funny part is, that after hearing that story, we proceeded to re-enact the entire scene all the way home from the bar (3 or 4 blocks) which consisted of each of us sneaking up on the other and yelling STICK and then punching the offending parties' buttocks. Good times, good times. I sometimes feel as though I've become handicapped with a natural immaturity.