Gets Me Everytime

I was cleaning out my favorites section and found this:




Cracks me up everytime.

Sloth

Watching Michael Phelps on TV makes me feel slothful. Like if I was an animal or if I believed in that weird animus/daemon/spirit creature crap, I would be a sloth. A horn-toed sloth. But maybe I would have a colorful tail, like a parrot. Or perhaps I could be a mixture of parrot and sloth...a paroth. Still with horny toes.

I'm sorry. I dont know where this is coming from. You know whats funny though? After 8 Olympic gold medals, Michael Phelp's mother still breaks down in tears. I know its an emotional rush but still after 8 medals and 14 total golds, you think the woman would be used to this by now. But I digress...I'm not a mother nor will my children ever win 8 Olympic gold medals in swimming. In archery maybe but not swimming. Oh you didnt know? Koreans are expert shots. Expert. We also excel at pistol shooting apparently but I love how we are not very good at Taekwondo, even though the sport originated there. And I thought it was a young Korean boy's way of life. The hand-and-foot combat. I guess they just dont make foot soldiers like they used to.

I'm putting together a birthday wish list and all I can come up with is a new planner. I feel like I should be turning 50 with a possible Alzheimer's approaching.

Olympics Schympics

Olympics have consumed me. Entirely. They have even consumed my dreams. Last night I had a dream that Michael Phelps was really a robot and on his final swim of the evening he banged his head against the Timex wall and his skin peeled away and it was revealed that he was indeed, non-human. I know everyone is in awe of the man and his swimming prowess and his endurance and his ginormous sized feet and the way his wingspan is twice his height and blah blah but what fascinates me is how he manages to keep on those legging suits during his swims. You know the ones that come just below the hip bones of males almost revealing what lies beneath. I feel at any time, those things are just going to come sliding off and Phelp's celebrity status will skyrocket. Or plummet. Depending on what lies beneath.