26 Things I'd Like to Do Before Turning 27

1.) Become fluent in sign language

2.) Become fluent in Korean

3.) Make something for this.

4.) Bake a pie from scratch

5.) Finish reading this and this.

6.) Recycle

7.) Verbally reprimand the dogwalker who lets their dog poop on the sidewalk

8.) Make a sculpture out of fruit

9.) Make tapas

10.) Have a baby*

11.) Not second guess myself on anything

12.) Travel to the West Coast

13.) Travel to the East Coast

14.) Submit at least two more stories for this. **

15.) Begin ideas for the screenplay

16.) Donate blood

17.) Make slideshow for my parents anniversary

18.) Sort through all my old memorabilia

19.) Make the big plunge and move to LA

20.) Make a difference in the life of someone else

21.) Watch at least half of the Oscar winning films for Best Picture

22.) Write a legit fan letter and ask for a signed picture

23.) Start reading this trilogy.

24.) Take the GRE

25.) Run a marathon

26.) Abolish fear

*Obviously this is farcical.

**Already submitted one which was a huge step for me.  A story about live bull-riding. 

YESTERDAY

So, yesterday was my birthday. I've never been a huge fan of birthdays and I still think they are pointless but I had a nice one. It spanned the entire weekend and consisted of tenderloin, a movie, laughter, cigarettes, orangina, strawberries, whipped cream, funfetti cake, brunch, and golf. Like I said, a fun time. I think tomorrow I'm going to make a list of 26 things I'd like to do before I turn 27 because lists are fun. And I'm all about the fun.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but I'm learning sign language. I feel like its important to constantly increase your brain power and I wanted to learn a language. So far, my favorite phrase is "This dress is ugly and difficult." Although with my abnormally small and un-manicured hands, I feel as though I have the deaf person's equivalent of a speech impediment. However, I've found that studying while listening to Celine Dion actually increases memory and helps focus the brain on the task at hand.

Speaking of music, I'm digging Matt&Kim these days. Why? Because they have a good sound and they don't have some weird, ironic band name. Also, Moby's "One of These Mornings" has been on heavy rotation. I don't know why but I find its rather haunting melody and lyrical redundancy rather comforting. Like an old shoe.

And so, as I embark on my 26th year of living, I pledge to increase my carbon footprint by 10 and blog more. You can thank me later.

Out of My League

I'm often felt this way in certain situations but have always managed to come up with some slightly awkward, humorous way of deflecting my feelings of inferiority. It works, most of the time. In college I was lucky enough to meet some people who were talented, gregarious, intelligent and all around kick ass. They even became close friends. And my need for snarky comments deflecting my inferiority became less of a need and more of sideshow trick.
However, that need is returning.

Check out this blog where my friends do fascinating feats...its cleverly titled All Gussied Up. I have yet to contribute since my skills in the "crafty" department score -100 on a scale from 0-10. I sense they know this and have only included me on this blog to flaunt their wonders in my face. HA. I kid. But seriously, they must know that I will only do stuff like this for a project of such magnitude that actually requires real work.

The need for the snark returns. I've missed it. But honestly, I am working on hand-carving a new gravy boat for Easter.

Summatime

Brilliant.

I'm in Milwaukee, freshly burned from a day at the lake. The fam headed up there to reconnect with relatives that we havent seen in forever and relatives who happened to be in town conveniently for a gathering. Most people call it a reunion. I hate that word.

At this gathering, we decided to play Scrabble and my 6 yr. old cousin had to help me since I seem to have lost every creative bone in my body as well as my grasp of grammar and my command of spelling.

Someday I would like to live in a lakehouse complete with a loft, a jetski and some sort of boat. I will now spend the rest of my adult life scrimping and saving my pennies for one. Goodbye luxuries...hello nice lakehouse where I can retire and eat pie all day.

I've decided that my life narrator is going to be the guy who narrates that show Pushing Daisies. He has a good, strong, clear voice with a hint of British accent and knows to put the right emphasis on the right syllable. He would properly hit the right highs and lows of my life with gusto.

I am extremely thankful for Youtube these days. I'm able to do a significant amount of celebrity stalking thanks to this wonderful invention. I'm also able to watch random movies (Me Without You) and obscure British television shows (The Streets-not bad) for free with a semi-clear quality.

My mind is in fragments right now due to the significant amount of stress that has been piling and festering. Hence the broken, slightly inane post. Here's the thing: I have misplaced that rat's ass I could give. I'm sure it will turn up someday.

Kay Pea, out.