Like sands through the hourglass...

So are the days of our lives. What? What exactly does this mean? Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. We are grains of sand, shifting mindlessly back and forth due to an unknown force that tilts us this way and that. Hmm...maybe those daytime TV writers were on to something...there is a first time for everything.
For some reason, I've been thinking alot about the days of my life...how they pass by so quickly and at the end of the day, I wonder what I did all day. When I look back on my life, will my days be muddled into weeks and then years? Will I only be able to look back on the good weeks or the good years without giving any real thought or feeling into the days? I hope not. Too much of our life is spent thinking about the weeks and years, we don't spend enough time contemplating the days...the 24 hours to do something good or make a difference. Harold Hill once said, "You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you're left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays." History is filled with men and women expounding upon "seize the day" mantras, so perhaps we should pay attention and try for once to focus on the today. What can you do for your fellow man TODAY?

Overdue

Sorry Mags...this is WAY overdue.

**************
The cold water felt good on Jerome's face. He let it linger on his face and felt that each falling drop symbolized his life falling to pieces. He aimlessly reached for a towel. He grabbed air. "Dammit." The dispenser was empty. "Like my life," he muttered. He wiped his hands on his pants and headed for the exit. As he reached for the handle, the door opened in his face. A large, bearded man with sunglasses and a cape brushed past him. "Perdon, senor." The man wore a red derby and a large ring with an unusual symbol. Jerome moved to the side to let the man pass and tried to get a better look at the ring. It had a large circle with divided into three parts. The man noticed Jerome's staring and quickly covered the ring.

The Funniest Thing about Working with all Men is...

Falling into the toilet more than once because you forget that the seat is up.

Break? What Break?

Even though my previous post speaks of my divorce from the blogging world, my dear friend and cousin has urged me to "get back on the horse."
As sit and reflect with a bowl full of Jello, I am reminded that in the adult world, there are no breaks. In elementary school, you get R&R days. In high school, you get spring break or "teachers need a mental health day" break. In college, I was lucky enough to recieve the longest Christmas break ever. But now, in the adult, working world...there are no breaks. How could I be so childish as to indulge in the childish fantasy of a break?
So, I am "back on the horse," and I pose this challenge to cousin Maggie. I will start a story on my blog...you must add on. We must devote one or two sentences to the story at the end of each post. Now, that's entertainment.

********************

Jermaine anxiously tugged at his collar. Brock had over starched it again. He made a mental note to exchange some harsh words with the man. Jermaine took a deep breath. He would not fail today. He would make the contact and deliver the message. The only thing that stood in his way was 5'3" petite blonde. He took another deep breath and started forward...

Time to Take a Break

Since delving into the world wide interweb, I have been fascinated with this blogging world. I voraciously read other blogs and find that it has become my number one source of entertainment. I desperately wanted to join the ranks of bloggers nationwide. Desperate being the key word here. As I read other blogs, I am amazed at how witty and well put together they are. I know that these people are naturally gifted because they have day jobs so its not like they sit around all day and just blog, blog, blog. Unfortunately, in my desperate attempt to join the eblogger world, I have found myself stifled in creativity. My blogs are trite and seem forced. They lack the candor, wit, and that key ingredient, entertainment that my peers pour out so effortlessly. So, I am going to take a break. Perhaps I jumped in too quickly without a clear blog vision. Every good book has a direction or a purpose, unless you are Dan Brown, then you lack both. Asiankp is going to take a hiatus and get back in touch her inner creative chakra. She is going to find a blogging purpose in order to stand in the ranks of these other world class bloggers committed to writing, wit, and entertainment. Don't cry for me, World Wide Web.

MOLLY

My brother has the most fabulous dog and her name is Molly. They say man's best friend is his dog and I'm inclined to believe that they are right. Whoever they are...probably those folks at Hallmark who made ridiculous statements in order to sell monogramed overpriced pieces of paper.
I took a trip home this past weekend to unwind, which really means be lazy, but it makes me feel better to say that I'm "going home to unwind" so that I don't feel guilty for lying around and doing nothing. They say thats what you do when you go home...you relax. They. Those folks at Hallmark again.
Back to point, the weather was absolutely fabulous so it was impossible for me to be completely slothful. I decided to indulge in a little East Coast fantasy and take the dog into the yard of my 3 story colonial with a picket fence to play some catch. Let me just say that the next 20 minutes were absolute bliss. I would throw the ball, she (Molly) would take off at ridiculous speed tearing up the grass as she ran, fetch the ball and bring it back to me, tail wagging. Her excitment made me excited. I jumped around with the ball...she followed me. I gave her delicate pats on the head...she begged for more. It was beautiful. The weather, the dog, the mood. I cannot wait to go home again.

It better be raining.

Lack thereof

For once I can honestly say that my lack of blogging is due to my new and busy job. Previously, the incessant blogging was due to lack of job but now my lack of blogging is due to job...funny how that works. I am the new Captain Obvious.
My days are now filled with research on satellite-based broadband solutions, voIP, VSAT, and trying how to figure out how to pack more bandwidth for your buck. Its thrilling, really.
But on to something else, there are a flock of seagulls outside the office. Normally, I would not be shocked to see seagulls because we live in a dirty city and seagulls tend to flock to the filth but in the middle of a office complex, therein lie the seagulls. I'm afraid thats all that my pathetic little mind has to offer today.

The City That Never Sleeps

Asiankp is currently writing from the Big Apple. She decided she needed a vacation after a long 3...days on the job. Actually the trip was planned early on...yes, sometimes Asiankp does plan.
The thing about NYC is that it really never ever sleeps and neither do the people who visit. The last couple nights have lasted well into the wee hours of the morning and they involved some rather irregular tasting cider and a ridiculously brutal card game called Mao. Games named after communist dictators are never a good sign.
This trip has had several ups and downs. One of the downs, I still have not bought a pretzel from a street vendor. One of the ups would have to be seeing a preview of the new Broadway production "Curtains" starring David Hyde Pierce of "Frasier" fame. Note to all theater-philes...go see "Curtains."
Asiankp needs some shut eye but she will continue to inform you of her NY anecdotes after she has had some time to process them...and buy a pretzel. Keep your fingers crossed!

Big Conflagration

Dr. Dictionary,

Today there was a big conflagration. We all danced and sang songs. Some boys got in a fight on the playground. I demanded an entreaty and decided to act sagacious by making them both eat mud and grass. Then the teacher surreptitiously yelled and screamed and made a humongous noise. She said it was time to go so we gracefully galumphed back into class.

Confused in California

I Never Thought I Would Be...

A commuter. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a commuter. It just has a weird connotation for me. For example, some people have a non sensical aversion to the word "home-schooled." There is nothing wrong with homeschoolers...I know several of them and they are the nearest and dearest to my heart but still, there is something about that word that makes you shrug up your shoulder and crinkle your nose. Thats how I feel about being a commuter. For the next 3 months, I will be forced to shrug up my shoulder and crinkle my nose at...myself.

HOLY RUBBER SOCKS!

So, today, I saw Batman. The original Batman. True to form, he hid behind large glasses the entire time. A mask, if you will. I did manage a feeble wave which was rewarded with slight nod from the Masked Avenger. I felt real cool until I was told not to try and make a big deal about the fact that America's hero was in the room. Oh okay, I will just treat him like a normal person.
BUT, he's not a normal person. He is a hero. He fights crime. He wears tights. He romances Catwoman. He is a superhero. I think its okay for me to be a little star struck...

The Sycophant Enjoins the Ambit of the Hardscrabble

Dear Dr. Dictionary,

Thank you for providing me with the title for my next book. "The Sycophant Enjoins the Ambit of the Hardscrabble" will prove to be my best selling book ever. I am not one to brag but I feel as though you and I, Dr. Dictionary, are two souls enjoined in the same body. We think and we act as one.

Sincerely,
Verbose in Vermont

Oscar Night-A Winner's Speech

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Wow! I never thought I would ever make it up here. Especially with all the uneccessary surgeries I've had on my face, lips, eyes, nose and boobs. My knees are intact which is why I made it up here. Thank God no one ever looks at knees. Oh my gosh...you are all looking at my knees. Karen. KAREN. Make an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. Now. YES NOW! Oh, excuse me. Karen is my assistant. She's a mindless bimbo from that one school in New Hampshire...oh yeah, Harvard.
Anyway, thank you so much. I'd like to thank the Academy. You really like me. Or maybe you like the money I gave you for letting me act after I skipped rehab. Either way, I thank you. This role was so close to my heart. So so so very close. The drugged out, cross dressing transsexual serial killer who finds a heart on the side of the road was simply a joy to play. Each day on set was like a breath of fresh air. I'd like to thank my director. You beat me, literally, but you made me a better actress. This movie really speaks volumes about the kind of things that we in Hollywood care about. We care about our serial killers and giving them a voice. People arent really that bad...especially serial killers because they care about the earth. They are committed to fighting the global warming crisis our country faces. They use the earth to do their work. Dirt is a very precious precious commodity. It also happens to be my favorite new show. You go Courtney Cox!
Anyway, thank you so much. My time is running out but I want to thank God, my family, my dogs who take the place of my children, my stylist, my hairdresser, my 1st pet I had when I was 4...Muffy you really believed in me, I know you are looking down on me from doggy heaven, I want to thank my eco-friendly car, my manicurist, my orthodontist, and all my plastic surgeons. You have restored my natural beauty and allowed me to become the best actress I can be and it shows today with this little gold man. Thank you...my gosh...this thing is heavy...maybe its because I havent eaten in 10 years...oh my gosh...I can barely lift this damn thing. KAREN. KAREN. What the hell...KAREN...you &%%$ and I'm going to *%#^ you....(censored by ABC).

Words of the Week

Dear Doctor Dictionary,

Thank you so much for sending me the daily words of the day. You are truly a master of healing through the written word. You are the doyen of speech. Honestly. A pure doyen. Every morning, I am woken from turbid dreams by my roommates sonorous snores and I scurry out of bed. I grab the morning coffee and my horoscope and hit the on button on my PC. I wait as the welcoming Windows greeting sounds and then a ping telling me that I do indeed have the wireless connection courtesy of our downstairs neighbors. I hurridly type in my email server of choice and search my inbox. Then I see it. It is the apogee of my day. There in my inbox in that lovable, lapidary size 10 font is an email from Doctor Dictionary giving me my antidote to doldrums. Salvation does indeed lie within.
So thank you Dr. Dictionary for making the world a better place and for giving me a reason to rise and face the drab, unforgiving, ordinary planet we inhabit. There is a malodorus hint of burning toast so I must go.

-Wordless in Washington

Late Nights

I have spent the last couple nights staying up late doing something totally irrational and slightly immature. I cannot say what I have been doing because I do not wish to be judged by the blogger community. Only God can judge me...so remember that.
But, really, why is it that we are forced to stay up late, forgo sleepful nights and fanciful dreams for something we know is probably not a good idea? Answer me that. And then judge me.

On Second Thought

I HATE NEW BLOGGER. CHANGE SUCKS.

Ch-ch-changes...

David Bowie said it best: "Turn and face the strange ch-ch-ch-changes." Usually I love change. I relish change. Whether it be nickels and dimes instead of dollars or Bucktown neighborhood rather than River North, change is a good thing. That being said...I anxiously await the good change that will come of this "new blogger" deal? I even took the time to create a google account just to accomodate the new, improved blogger. I wait with baited breath for any and all new readers...

Awkward!

Interviews. The very word strikes fear in the hearts of all young professionals. Personally, I'd rather have my wisdom teeth taken out again than attend an interview. My esteemed father provided me with several documents to read on interviewing. But who has time to read?! Seriously with all the fabulous TV...who wants to spend time reading documents about a skill that might be vital to our future.

Case in point: I'm sure the document would have a very detailed section on how to avoid extended periods of silence with a prospective boss during an interview.

For the Record

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about seeing a film that was originally a book now a sub-par movie. I decided to back up my claims with some real evidence. I finally finished P.D. James' The Children of Men. And it was far far superior to the film. I rest my case.

Invasion of Privacy

Yesterday at work, I was watched. Yes, watched...the entire day. I'd like to think that my employers had something better to do that watch me on their newly installed security cameras but no, I was watched. Often times, people relish the idea of being on camera. They crave it. There is an instant attraction to be seen and heard no matter how insignificant your musings may be. This was not the case. Video cameras and I have a bad history. My own video camera was violently damaged in a shuffle that involved my dog, some ice, and a myriad of stuffed animals. Video cameras do not give me the added 10 pounds, they give me an added 20 pounds plus 3 more folds in my neck.
So, imagine my horror as I stopped to take a break at work today near the front desk. I had been in the back folding laundry for the past hour and wanted to breathe in some expensive healing scents. I paused to talk to the front desk girls who are wildly funny and picked up a magazine for perusal. Not a minute later, the phone rang. It was for me. On the other end of the telephone was my boss, aka, all purpose asshole. "Katherine," he said, "Do you not have enough work to do? I do not want you standing at the front desk reading a magazine, I do not want you going behind the desk. There is no need for any of this. You should not be reading magazines. The place needs to be clean. I need you to stay focused on your job of making the place clean. Do you understand?" Simple statement, annoying of course, but simple. The thing is I cannot convey tone here and that is what did the trick. I hate it when people say simple things in such a condescending manner that you feel small. I'm not an idiot. I was taking a break. But his voice and his tone made me feel as if I were 5 years committing the world's worst sin. His voice reminds me of a carnie swindling old ladies out of their bingo money. That and his wife dresses him. I need to find new job.