The Phone Voice

I want my own personal talkie. Not a walkie talkie, but a talkie. Allow me to elaborate. For the past couple of days, I've had to make phone calls to various people who are strangers to me. They do not know me but they know someone who knows me. I want something from them. Something they can give pretty easily if they like you. Isnt networking fun? However, a majority of this getting to know you biz is done over the phone and it sucks and its awkward and hey thats life. I hate the sound of my own voice. In fact, I hate the sound of my own voice so much that I feel the need to blog about it every 2 months or so. ANYWAY, production companies usually hire voice actors to do voice overs for various things so I figure, why cant I hire a 'talkie.' You know...I could just go to the "voice store" and customize my very own talkie and then I would feed it/her/him (havent figured out the gender thing yet) the words I'd like and it would come out pitch perfect and friendly without being fake, cheery but not ditzy, serious but not monotone, sharp but not caustic, etc. In essence, it would be the perfect voice saying the perfect things. Granted, it would not be prepared to think on its own so I would have to continually feed it lines but it would be great if it could factor in the other person's tone and then adjust accordingly. Like if the person on the other end was getting impatient in tone, then the 'talkie' would speak slightly faster than normal. It would just be great to not have to think that someone who I've never met is judging me based on the sound quality of my voice which, I believe, sounds like scratchy pre-pubescent girl.