Today I was working at this school when the assistant director of admissions came up to say her usual "welcome, thanks for filling in, you are a really big help" speech. Admissions directors always rub me the wrong way because they have that permanent goofy smile on their face even at 7:30am. Anyway, as I grab the free bagels and schmear, she taps me on the shoulder. I've prepared a little speech, something that explains why I'm there, why I dont have a real job, my credentials, what I'm looking for, etc. I'm fully prepared for the cheerful patrol. Instead, she taps me on the shoulder and says, "How old are you dear? Because you look like you are 12 years old. I mean, 12 years old. Gosh, how do you like that?" I pause. How do I like that? How do I like that you think I'm effin 12 years old? Part of me wants to whip out a cigarette and a 7 and 7 and blow smoke in her face and say, Listen lady, would a 12 year old do this and then grab the nearest man and start fornicating right there in the teachers lounge. Unfortunately, this is an all girls school.
I'm not really sure what to say so I curtly smile and say, "No Grandma, I'm 24 years old."
Another thing: Hollywood writers on strike. I guess you can only spin the Iraq war so many ways.
Another thing: Katie Holmes ran the NYC marathon. What a beast! But the best thing I heard was TMZ's dubbing of little Suri the "Scientolotot."
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3 comments:
Katie Holmes ran the NYC marathon, huh?
Funny, I was just reading an article on obesity published by the american sociological association and they used Tom Cruise as an example of someone clinically obsese(based on BMI)...
Oh, and you look plenty old.
Wear your hair down tomorrow so she can see all those silver strands...
It must be a bitter school marm thing, b/c I remember when I was teaching one of the older teachers telling me that sometimes from the back she couldn't tell me apart from some of the (7th and 8th grade) students! I was annoyed by it then, I wouldn't mind hearing it now because it would probably mean I was a bit trimmer.
So I guess the rumors about Katie Holmes being pregnant again are not true?
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