Guest Starring: The TV Girl

One of my favorite bloggers, the illustrious TV Girl, has been on hiatus for a bit. So, in an effort to re-prepare yourselves for her genius take on television in the modern world, I now post the second part of the 2 part series: Parents of TV. Here she tackles motherhood. Enjoy!

The Parents of TV: Best Moms

I have a good relationship with my mother. It is never perfect, but through a great deal of hard work, as well as trial and error, my mother and I have forged a mutually respectful and companionable relationship. We drink coffee and smoke cigarettes together, travel together, and argue about the appropriate understanding of memetic representation in Harry Potter. I mention this because it makes me a much harsher judge of Mother/Child relationships on TV. Motherhood is probably the most difficult vocation, especially in the post-Feminist age where women are considered wrong for wanting to devote themselves to it full time. I try to bear in mind both my family dynamics and more universally human concerns when evaluating portrayals of motherhood on TV, but I often find myself dissatisfied. I am disinclined to assent to the superior mothering skills of Lorelei Gilmore (Lauren Graham) and Nora Walker (Sally Field). These two characters are hailed as the be all and end all of motherhood; I think they form the Scylla and Carybdis of fictional moms. Can someone explain to me the point of the Ross/Rachel baby on Friends, because I would hope any child treated so dismissively would be taken by the state. I will not even try to express my wonder that Rosanne’s children did not murder her in her sleep. But in all fairness, there are some instances of genuine motherhood on TV.

Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) on Arrested Development
I understand that I have to defend this choice, since this woman is an alcoholic sociopath who manipulates her children simply to pass the time. She is a horrible woman, but in a twisted way, I think she is a great mom. She holds her family together, albeit with an iron fist. All of her children, with the exception of Michael (Jason Bateman), are utterly deficient human beings. Without her presence they would all be dead in a ditch somewhere. You could easily make the argument that they are as they are because of her less than stellar parenting skills, but there is no type of saint that she could have been to counteract their father(s). Through her passive-aggressive wiles, the Bluth family celebrates birthdays and holidays together, attend social events as a family, run a (successful?) company, and participate in charitable work. They always cause a scene, usually end up on the evening news, and the community would probably be happy if the whole family was incarcerated. Yet, under the hawk-like matriarchy of Lucille the Bluth’s function as family unit. I hope someday I can say as much for myself as a mother.

Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) on Sex and the City
What I said in the introduction may incline you to think that I don’t believe women should work. That is not the case. I simply have a dislike of the idea of “having it all.” Attempting a demanding full-time career and children requires compromising both. Such a lifestyle also requires a support system willing to pick up a great deal of the slack Miranda and Steve (David Eigenberg) are my favorite storyline in the entirety of Sex and the City, in part because I really think Miranda made an admirable effort to maintain her career and be a dedicated (and for a time single) mother. She did not want to be a mom in the first place; Brady was the result of the Reproductive Special Olympics, and like any show in our post-modern era, Miranda considered having an abortion. But she chose not to, and despite being utterly emotionally unprepared made room in her life for a son. She was often sleep deprived and on the verge of a breakdown, and if you have ever met a new mother (even in the best of circumstances) that is how it is. Miranda did not have it easy, and her friends lent a hand, most often in the way friends help with babies; getting the mother away from said baby for a night. When the time was right, Miranda gave up her Manhattan lifestyle and assented to move with Steve and Brady to Brooklyn, so that Brady could grow up in a house, with a yard in which to play with the dog. I have always wondered (and maybe the show addressed this and I missed it) but since Brady is named after his father’s last name, did they change his name when Miranda and Steve got married, thereby making him Brady Brady, or did they leave him Brady Hobbes?

Marge Simpson on (the early seasons of) The Simpsons
Yes, she is two-dimensional. Yes, at this point in the series she is a pale caricature of her former self. Even so, for the first half of the 90’s Marge Simpson was the best mom on TV. Committed to being a full time housewife, she confronts the repercussions of limiting her own career ambitions, periods of self-doubt, and bouts of exhaustion. For a half an hour at a time, Marge shows us all of the difficulties of loving another person and raising a family with that person. And for many years, Marge rose to each challenge. She maintained the house, the food, the laundry, and also carved out a life of her own, through activities like painting and community theatre. She demonstrated to her children principles such as forgiveness and compassion. But she was an immensely realistic cartoon. Marge’s love prevents her from taking a stronger stance on the tough issues such as discipline. Her position as mother skewed her perspective, making she has trouble seeing the gravity of certain behaviors and therefore justifying or excusing punishable offenses. I wonder if there is any mother who has not found herself in the position?

Grams (Mary Beth Peil) on Dawson’s Creek
Technically Grams was, obviously, Jen (Michelle Williams)’s grandmother, so maybe she shouldn’t count for this list, but she is great, and deserves recognition. Who would have guessed when we first met Bible-thumping, long skirt wearing, no cussing Grams that she would be the one to protect and nurture self-destructive, guilt ridden Jen and too gay for a small town Jack (Kerr Smith)? That is not a fair question since Jack did not arrive on the drama-ridden but picturesque coastline until the second season, but you see my point. It stands to reason that having made some serious mistakes in raising her own daughter (Jen’s self-involved mother) Grams did not allow herself to repeat her behavior. Grams never became a moral relativist; rather she put the mandate to love above the mandate to preach. Grams embodied the delicate balance between instruction and comfort that all mothers strive to achieve, demonstrating that the right thing has to be said in the right way to be effective.

Mary Winchester () on Supernatural
At this point you may think I am either grasping at straws, or I am way too critical. Feel free to think either. The fact is that only great love (or professional training) can convince someone to lay down his or her life to protect another. Mary goes one step further. She extinguishes her immortal soul to save the life of her son Sam when he is about to be killed by a poltergeist. While I am unqualified to judge the theological possibility of such an act, I think Mary deserves our respect for protecting her children from beyond the grave.

The TV Girl