For the love of God, use support

As human beings, we know the absolute necessity of a support system. Whether it be friends, family or fuzzy, furry creatures, a support system is vital to survival. Mentally and physically. Our friends and family get us through good and bad times and our physical support system, namely our bodies, requires rest, food, and proper nourishment of all kinds. No matter which way you look at it, a strong support system is necessary, vital and at times, life saving.

Then why, why for all the beans in Mexico, do women insist on going out in public without their chest support systems? Honestly people, its called a bra and yes, you should wear it. They arent too expensive unless you are into that sort of thing, in which case I would laugh and tell you that underwear is meant to be under and not broadcasted to the world therefore spending an inane amount of money on expensive undergarments is about as smart as buying week old milk. I am fully aware that back in the day, women did not wear bras and everything was loosey goosey. More comfortable? Maybe but then again, try doing your daily activities without wearing a bra and then get back to me about how comfy it is. I assure you that you will not feel the same way when you are climbing stairs or jogging to catch the bus and your tatas are bouncing up and down wildly.

Now, I understand that some women have miniscule chests and that wearing a bra is just an added nuisance especially since it would just draw more attention but in all honesty, its more distracting to see a small chested woman's misquito bites just sitting there...ICK. Also, bras help women be discreet in certain situations where frigid temperatures cause peakage. And no one wants to witness that.
Its even worse when you see women exercising without the right size sports bra. My roommate has a hilarious story about some woman she saw jogging without sports bra and her chest was like slinkys, you know those rubber spring things that bounce up and down, up and down...all the way to floor and then springing back up. Haha. I hope I just gave you a slightly inappropriate mental image.

So to all the women in the world, bras are your friend. Wear them. Cherish them and for gosh sakes, never ever leave the house without them.

Thoughts

Perhaps I should stay away from the bathroom humor posts and leave those to the experts. Just an observation.

Anyway, I did not go to work today. I called in sick which is not entirely false because I really needed this little mental health day. I did wake up with a sore throat and even attempted to shower only to realize the water was effin cold (I have 3 other roommates who all shower before 8 am) so I shrugged my shoulders and crawled back into bed where I remained for several peaceful hours. It was beautiful.

Like Two Ships Passing

My dear roommate has humorously documented her saga with awkward co-worker encounters in the bathroom and her stories have given me pause to consider how in an office of 9 people with only 2 women (myself and my superior) and one women's toilet, I have never ever had an ill-fated toilet tete a tete in almost 2 months.
Perhaps this is not out of the ordinary but it occurs to me that we must be on totally opposite relief schedules. I have never needed the restroom while she is in it and I have never been walked in on while using the commode myself. From my observations, we both drink a good amount of water during the day and judging from certain odors, I'm aware that both our bowels are functioning quite smoothly. She is a good deal smaller and more feisty that me but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with digestion unless her feisty nature causes her metabolism to go into hyper mode and attack food the way a piranha attacks a goldfish.

Either way, I think its an interesting phenomenon and quite frankly, a disappointment. From what my roommate tells me, I would have a lot more fodder for this blog if only my boss and I had coinciding digestive dumps.

Yawn...

So...very slow day at work so I decided to take the "Who Are you Most Like from The Office" Quiz. I was disappointed to find that Andy was not an option. However, after the 20 questions (literally 20), it was decided that I have a split personality. I'm most like Pam and Michael meaning I'm a Micham. I'm not sure if this means I'm destined to make awkward, inappropriate jokes while wearing cardigans for the rest of my life, but it is certainly helping to pass the time.

I also have a question of ethics for you. If you know tomorrow is going to be slow, droning, tear-out-your-hair-day boring and you have legitimately been feeling crappy all week, do you call in sick or suck it up and go to work because you arent dying or anything, you are just feeling under the weather? Add in the fact that you have no real committment to the job but also add in the fact that you know the studio manager is out for the day and the staff will be down a man...what does one do?

I suppose the fact that I'm even posting this question to the world wide web tells me that I already know the answer. Damn my conscience.

Insult vs. compliment

Last week, my boss was interviewing a girl for my position. The girl seemed nice enough and was very small, petite and cute. The interview seemed to go quickly and a few hours later, my co-worker J. came up to the desk for some chitchat. Our conversation quickly turned to the cute brunette who had interviewed earlier.

J: I hope she gets the job.

KP: Why?

J: Because she was freakin HOT!

KP: I suppose, yeah, but then you wouldnt get any work done. You would keep coming up to the desk like a little dog.

J: Whatever. She was HOT. When you come to work, its an added bonus to have a smoking hot receptionist...(LONG PAUSE)... or have a receptionist with a good personality.

KP: Okay, J.

J: No, I mean, if she's hot and has a good personality thats awesome but if she has a good personality, thats all right. It still makes work fun.

KP: Haha..ha?

J: No really, I mean, listen, I've dated girls in the past who everyone thought was so ugly and they'd be like, "Oh man, why are you dating her, she is so ugly." But I'd be like, "She has a good personality man."

KP: You are a true saint, J. Women must love you.

J: Ha..whatever. See you later.

So there you have it. I suppose J was paying me a compliment by saying I had a good personality but also pointing out that I was not smoking hot. Oh the joys of men and women in the workplace.

Ah Bartelby, Ah Humanity!

Have you ever found yourself in a room with company that you find completely crude and completely intolerable? In situations such as these, Asiankp does not have the proper moxie to just say whats on her mind and call people out on their BS. She would rather retreat into a quiet corner, thinking evil thoughts about said company until later she can discuss them with a sympathetic listener. I ask you, is it better to hold your tongue and avoid confrontation with strangers you hardly know but who ended up in your house anyway or speak your mind, say your peace, offend if necessary and then move on? You can pick and choose your battles but one must take into account the battleground and whether reinforcements can be brought in. In any case, I'm not sure whats worse...making things uncomfortable in your home and starting unecessary fisticuffs or keeping quiet when you know wrong is afoot.

Today I was a half hour late for work

I blame it on Duncan Kane.

I'm like the gay male drunk version of Britney Spears...

So, the train ride home was packed. And I mean packed. I knew it would be an uncomfortable ride as soon as I saw the train pull up and some girls nose was pressed against the window...forcefully. No one in their right mind presses their nose against the El cars in Chicago. It's an invitation for all sorts of diseases and possibly hepatitis.
Anyway, I managed to snake my way into a tiny spot between a very dirty partition and a hipster girl. Almost immediately I smelled the alcohol. Right behind me were two very drunk and very gay men. What follows is practically their verbatim conversation. And it was wholly entertaining.

Guy #1: I am SOOO drunk.

Guy #2: Me too. Those shots are now in ma BELLY.

Guy #1: WTF? Why is the train not moving? Doors closing...doors closing....they are SOO totally closed.

Guy #2: Oh man, we are so drunk.

Guy #1: Okay, so here's the plan.

Guy #2: Tell me the plan.

Guy #1: We are going to go to my apartment, eat food, feed the puppies, watch Sordid Lives until 11 and then...GO OUT.

Guy #2: The puppies need food. That is a great plan. Oh...why are we not moving? I am so drunk. Are we moving because we could be?

Guy #1: What if I was pregnant? You know...but I wouldnt have a baby, I would have a vodka bottle, you know.

Guy #2: HA. You would have a vodka bottle for a baby. How many shots did we do?

Guy #1: Well that one bar we have 4 shots of jager and then those martinis and all those damn beers.

Guy #2: Oh yeah, all those beers...mmmhhhmmm...can we bring the puppies to work tomorrow? Damn you...work....thats the last time I'm going out with you during the middle of the day, you got me all drunk.

Guy #1: Whatever. We are celebrating. My husband left me for a soccer player with abs. A soccer player. Abs.

Guy#2: And he's younger than you. He's younger. So we are celebrating.

Guy #1: Yeah, he might as well be 4. 4 with abs.

Guy #2 (to another passenger): So his husband left him. It's sad but he still has the puppies.

Guy #1: Yeah, I'm like the very gay male drunk version of Britney Spears. Except I wouldnt shave my head because its SOO cold here.

Guy #2: And I'm like the gay version of Britney's Spear's bodyguard. So we are celebrating. Oh my god, are we moving? I swear we are moving...

Guy #1: I have to pee...lets just go here. Like the puppies do.

Unfortunately, thats where I left them...contemplating whether or not to pee inside like their puppies do.

ASIANKP IS HEADED TO DC

For a short visit in a few short weeks. And she could not be happier.

A Few Things About Me...

Recently, it has come to my attention through conversations with others and through some well directed gossip, that certain people think I have concrete views on specific topics. For the most part this is true, because what kind of person doesnt have concrete views on specific topics. A completely open mind is a completely empty mind. However, there are few things that I wish to clarify. And for the record, one of the things that really annoys every fiber of my being is people who think they know how I feel about things and feel that they can "anticipate" how I will react. There are a few choice people in my life who have that pleasure but a majority of folks are big bags of wind.

#1: Asiankp hates couples. FALSE. This is not true. Just because I choose to stay at home rather than attend a brunch that I know is populated only by couples and that I will be the only single person there does not mean I hate couples. Rather I choose to avoid an awkward situation for myself and for the other couples. Most of the time, I'm happy to hang out with you and your BF/GF but somedays I would rather not witness some stomach-churning displays of affection.

#2: Asiankp is cynical. TRUE. I am cynical and I take great pleasure in being cynical and I will forever and ever remain cynical. Amen.

#3: Asiankp does not believe in change. TRUE and FALSE. Asiankp does like change but she does not always believe that change equates better. Change is imminent and sometimes necessary but Asiankp refuses to jump on the Obama Change Wagon because she feels it is the most superficial and empty campaign ever.

#4: Asiankp uses humor to deflect serious topics and conversation. TRUE. I cannot have truly serious conversations without a cigarette anymore. I feel that the cigarette keeps my loins fertile and creativity flowing. And yes, I did just use humor to avoid answering this question.

#5: Asiankp is anti-social. FALSE. I'm only anti-social when the society is undesirable. You go ahead and put two and two together.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some VM to attend to.

Mr. President

So today is President's Day. I'm not really sure what one does to properly celebrate President's Day...I think in grade school we used to eat cupcakes decorated with Lincoln and Washington's head. If I remember correctly, Abe was always in red and George was always in blue. Not sure what the significance is but its what I remember.
Anyway, last night I was at a bar with some friends and someone asked, "So whose is your favorite president of all time?" There were answers of Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, Truman but when it was my turn, I said, "Without a doubt, Thomas J. Witmore." Blank stares all around. "Thomas J. Whitmore, Bill Pullman, Independence Day." No responses. Ice clinked in glasses. Finally someone sighed a whatever and the group left to have a smoke.

Okay, so my favorite president happens to be a fictional character from a movie. So what? The man was awesome. He was a good father, a loving husband, had incredible foreign policy and was a former fighter pilot. When his country comes under attack, he goes out to fight the good fight on the front lines and protect our country from a ruthless invasion. He inspires. He fights. He saves the country. He wins my vote. And he also delivers a speech that sometimes makes me tear up just thinking about. I even used clips of his speech for my sophmore year English project. However, I'm sad to report that my teacher did not share my enthusiasm for the speech saying it did not apply to the topic (which was inspirational poetry of the 19th century). Regardless, the man is, was and will always be my favorite president. A few other presidents that make the cut:

1.) President James Marshall (Harrison Ford) in "Air Force One"-now this guys inspires as well. And he could offer a crash course in dealing with terrorists. And when he yells, "GET OFF MY PLANE," it sends shivers of fear and excitement down my spine.

2.) President Tom Beck (Morgan Freeman) in "Deep Impact"-Natural Disaster strikes and President Beck must select specific people to hide out in the super underground caves and ultimately survive while the rest of the world dies. I dont think its any coincidence that Mr. Freeman has also played God twice. As a man faced with a grueling task, Beck handles it all with grace, sincerity and compassion. In the end when its clear the planet will not be wiped out by a giant meteorite, its great to see Beck standing atop the rubble that once was the White House and declaring that they can rebuild the country and tomorrow is ours. Visions of Obama anyone?

3.) President Robert Fowler (James Cromwell) in "The Sum of All Fears"-Let's be honest. James Cromwell is always a man who demands your attention while onscreen. There is something about his persona, his build and his voice that just exudes a strong confidence. While the rest of his cabinet freaks out about the impending doom of nuclear war, he earns major points for being able to keep a cool head and trust his instincts.

I'm sure there are others...some suggest Dave Kovich (Kevin Kline) in "Dave" but I'm over the whole lying and decieving America. Been there, done that, right Clinton?

A Letter to Winter

Dear Winter,

I hate you and your ever present face. Please go away. Even though sometimes you are pretty, for the most part, you depress me and give me rashes due to dry skin.

Sincerely,
Asiankp

I find that a strongly worded letter is sometimes the best way to deal with an adversary.

VD

Thats right. I think today is a really appropriate day to talk about venereal diseases, especially on Valentine's Day, a holiday that has been perpetuated by those clever folks at Hallmark but also a day that somewhat subtley encourages couples to make coital memories. Sorry if thats a dirty word but it seemed to fit.

ANYWAY...for those of you couples who insist on making coital memories, I suggest you have an intimate chat with your partner to confirm that the other does not suffer from any hidden diseases. Before bedding, a long checklist of questions regarding previous partners is a good idea. I am a fan of the lengthly and in depth list of questions that they give you before you give blood. You know the one with the questions like, "Have you had sex with a man who has had sex with another man who has sex with someone overseas who has had relations with any type of animal?" Yep. In depth. Those blood folks leave no stone uncovered. And I have hard time wondering how they ask those questions with a straight face.

So, on this self proclaimed sweetest day of the year, I urge you all, before you dip into your chocolate covered edible underpants, to GET TESTED.

Who says I dont do apostolate?

Check out the proof right here.

Although I must say, the TV Girl has converted me as well. I am now a huge Veronica Mars fan and its definitely worth the late nights and the late for work the next morning because you stayed up until 4am waiting to find out who killed Lilly. Metaphorically speaking, of course, because I havent even gotten that far.

Things Worth Doing

Lately I've been wondering if my actions are just mindless activities that serve no greater purpose. These thoughts come to me while I'm sharpening pencils or putting together binders for a class. These inane actions are simply that. Inane. And it made me wonder what things are indeed, worth doing. And not just doing, but doing well. I'm about to embark on a very interesting journey and I've made a very important decision regarding my future but I'm afraid of doing it and I'm not sure I have the gumption to do it well. But while I sort out my thoughts on that, here's a list of things I've decided are worth doing. And things that I'm determined to start doing well.

1.) Praying-sounds cheesy but its true.
2.) Visiting friends-I suppose my cycle of funemployment will allow me to do this...Ann Arbor, D.C., Texas and NY are on the list.
3.) Writing-enough said.
4.) Eating healthy-this is easier said than done but its about time I start.
5.) Work-this is a challenging one especially when I find myself in a job that requires me to use only half my brain. But the thing is, no matter how stupid or boring the work is, I sell myself short if I dont do it the best of my ability. So, the pencils will be the sharpest pencils you've ever seen and those binders will shine and that coffee will taste as if the little Colombian man himself showed up at your window with his donkey and a steaming hot cup of joe.

Love/Hate, San Fran, Turtles and Pencils

Lately, I’ve been answering questions with this response, “Oh that…yeah it’s a very love/hate relationship.” I cant tell you how many times I’ve used this phrase to describe everything from actual relationships to the way I feel about a pair of jeans or carbohydrates. I feel it covers the bases and but doesn’t give away too much. It also avoids having to go in further detail with someone because every person with a half a brain should understand the concept of a love/hate relationship. And depending on which term you put more emphasis on, the topic in question can be dropped quicker than you can say Cletus the Fetus or Bobby’s Horny Toad.

So, yeah, love/hate relationships. What do you have a love/hate relationship with?

My roommate just got back from San Francisco. While her butt was on the beach, mine was turning blue in the negative degree wind chill we’ve had lately. I haven’t spoken to her yet, but I’m sure her trip was filled with danger, intrigue, and passion. That and drag queens. Although, I’m told San Francisco is not the gay paradise I had heard it was.

Work today is slow. Slower than a herd of turtles in a sea of peanut butter. I’d like to see someone draw that for me. And then put it on a t-shirt that I could wear all the time.

Funemployment has been put on hold for another 2 or 3 weeks. The girl who was going to take my job decided to follow her heart instead giving me 2 to 3 more weeks of steady work. Which is great because I still have 2 more boxes of pencils to sharpen.

House Cleaning

Sometimes, house cleaning can be an amazing thing. We got a new roommate today so B and I decided that it was time to clean up house and begin to pack up old roommates' stuff. We have sorted our storage closets, sweep and mopped the floors, taken out the trash for the entire apartment and gotten rid of the ginormous pile of newspapers in our front hall. It has been the most productive Saturday ever. A win-win-win. And, did I mention my new roommate likes to cook? Bonus.

In which I vent

So I mentioned how I my current employers have decided not to take me on...sucks. But whatever, you move on. Here's the thing...if I think about it really hard, ponder all my choices, my supervisor is right. She is doing me a grand favor. A little backstory here: before my most recent bout of funemployment, I had a great job working for a PR/Marketing company. I was dabbling in international relations with trade media and communicating almost daily with reps in China. It paid well, my bosses were cool, my co-workers tolerable and everything was the big fat American dream. Until I realized that the content of the work was not really where my heart lay and the company and I made a mutual decision that this is not what I wanted. I was determined to jump back into the production/casting world so funemployment session one began. It lasted longer than I thought and when this job came along I jumped at the opportunity. I thought it would be a good stepping stone to get back into the world of production and make some nice contacts along the way.

Unfortunately, this has not been the case. I went from communicating with Asia to sharpening pencils and making coffee. I make minimum wage. My bosses (the spouses) treat me like a dim witted blonde. So far today, I've spent more time making coffee and sending flowers for them...its not a receptionist, its an effin personal assistant. I add minutes to their phone bill, I send their relatives flowers on their birthday. Soon, I will making their kids science projects and filling in at parent teacher conferences. Some of you might shake your head and say, "Oh Asiankp, what did you expect? You are a receptionist at a "family" business, of course you are going to end up doing that kind of stuff." And to that I say, I was wholly unprepared for this. Everyday I leave work feeling a little bit stupider. And a little more angry. Half the time, they dont communicate with me and then chastise me for not getting things done. Everytime someone calls for my boss, I tell him who it is, he gives me a look like he has never ever heard of that person before and says, "WHO??" I repeat the name the exact same way and again, a blank stare. I finally raise my voice and say the name twice in a row real fast and a glimpse of recognition crosses his face. "Okay, thank you." Mind you, the person who is calling has just called about 5 minutes ago. Yet somehow, I end up feeling like the incompetent jerk who doesnt enunciate. And that my friends, is just not worth it.

Good riddance.

Its Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

I know...wrong season. We should be thinking about Easter and not Christmas, but seriously, with all the snow we are getting, how can I not think about Christmas. It has been snowing non stop since 6am this morning and all I can think about is those lucky bastards who got snow days today or will get one tomorrow. Sometimes, it pays to work far away from home.
Anyway, I have a sinking feeling that I"m becoming lame. My blog posts are lacking and even when I spiced it up with a guest blogger (who was fantastic), the comments did not come. I have a suspicion that people read the blog and dont comment and thats all well and good but it does nothing to stroke my ego.

On to other things...I will not be continuing on at my current job. There was talk of taking me on permanently when I started and that is now FUBAR. Part of me is disappointed but part of me should be thanking them. It was a dead end job with no prospects and honestly, the owners drove me crazy. To anyone out there looking for a job, DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT EVER WORK FOR SPOUSES. EVER EVER EVER. Too bad everyone else was hilarious and super cool. I dont know how they stand it. Anyway, I'm looking forward to bigger and better things. Besides I wouldnt be Asiankp if I didnt have another bout of funemployment coming up.

Genius in the House: Special Guest: The TV Girl

I firmly believe in sharing. It's something that has been drilled into our heads as little kids and for good reason. Sharing is good. Sharing makes friends. Sharing makes the world go round. Except if you are a prostitute, then sharing is wrong. Very, very wrong. Anyway, my good friend TV Girl has done me a great favor and will be guest-blogging today. If you havent checked out her site yet, you should. So without further ado, I give you the TV Girl and the Top 5 TV Dads, the first in a 2 part series regarding TV Parents:

Parental relationships define our lives; we spend our entire existence acting in accord or reacting against what we are taught by our parents as they either raise or ignore us.
One of my stunning endorsements of Veronica Mars is the relationship between Veronica and Keith. I claim that Keith is one of the top five parents on TV if not the best. So who is the competition? Now I know that most people would say that Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby) is the all-time champ of best parent on TV, but he is before my time, and is maybe best left as a special case, not eligible for competition. I think this list is more about recent/current TV than the entire history of TV.

The Top Five Dads:

Keith Mars (Enrico Colantoni) from Veronica Mars
I admit that I am a sucker for daddy-daughter storylines, but the relationship between Veronica (Kristin Bell) and her father Keith is truthful and beautiful. Keith admires and encourages his daughter, but he struggles with his desire to protect her, and suffers when she deceives or defies him, as teenagers often do. Because his wife left, he is the sole parent, so at times he is in the awkward position of chastising and comforting simultaneously. Furthermore, Keith must act as a model for Veronica. His professional life is profoundly effected by Lily’s murder, and he must demonstrate to his daughter how to accept adversity with good-humor and resilience. He is motivated by his profound love for his child and always acts towards giving her a good life.

Sandy Cohen (Peter Gallagher) from The O.C.
I don’t think anyone can argue that The O.C. is divorced from reality. Accordingly, Sandy is a bit too smart, a bit too smarty-pants, and a bit too trusting. Granting this, Sandy is a damn good dad. Sandy is a good father because he knows who he is and doesn’t compromise for trivialities. His openness to taking in Ryan (Ben Mackenzie) is of course the premise of the show, and if it was just the “I’m going to save the down trodden kid” mentality then Sandy wouldn’t qualify for my list. He is a loving and consistent father to both Seth (Adam Brody) and Ryan; encouraging them when they are lost, reprimanding them when they are wrong, and never giving up on them. In Season Three, when Sandy kind of looses his way, it is his children who bring him back. His respect for them reciprocates in their respect for him, and engenders them with the courage to do what is right when he is in the wrong. I think his children appreciate him more the older they get, which is an accurate assessment of how we all feel about our parents. I really can’t imagine the embarrassment Seth suffered as a small child. Plus Sandy has the best eyebrows in existence (I don’t know why I consider that a positive quality in a father, but I do).

Ignacio Suarez (Tony Plana) from Ugly Betty
Betty (America Ferrera)’s dad is awesome. He cooks, he watches telonovelas, always reminds his daughters of right and wrong, acts as a father to his grandson, and even gives Betty’s boss Daniel (Eric Mabius) much need guidance. When it comes out that he hasn’t been entirely honest with his children, they are upset, but I can’t blame him for the choices he makes. He does what he does to protect his children, and he holds himself to the same moral standard he holds them to. When he faces the repercussions of his past actions, he accepts his responsibility with dignity. When Betty and her father disagree because he opposes her relationship with Henry (Christopher Gorham), Henry reminds her that he father is the foundation of her life. Now that’s a good father, appreciated even by those he disagrees with.

Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz) from Bones
There are a few standard rules on TV. A single mother is single because her ex/babydaddy/one-night-stand is an ass-hat and she is better off with out him. A single father is single because he is a widower and his deceased wife was a saint. (The notable exception is 8 Simple Rules, which incorporated the death of John Ritter into the show and depicted the aftermath of loosing a good father.) If a show deals with both parents, then the child is freakishly well adjusted (Micah from Heroes anyone), as if everyone is trying to prove that a spilt home is the ideal environment for children. Bones kind of bends the rules. I admit I was skeptical when they introduced Booth’s son, but it has proven to be one of the more compelling storylines on the show. Booth is a single father, his ex-girlfriend has custody, and they do their best to give Parker (Ty Panitz) the best life. But Booth has to struggle with his ex’s new love interests and their influence on Parker’s life, as well as his desire to spend time with his son balanced with maintaining civil relations with his ex. Showing the difficulties facing a loving father who doesn’t have custody is impressive element of the show, and Booth is so patient, loving, and determined to make the best of it, you know Parker will become a good man. (Plus he gets extra points because Booth is worlds away from Angel and his son Connor, which had to be one of the most fraked-up father/son dynamics ever.)

Admiral Bill Adama (Edward James Olmos) from Battlestar Galactica
My respect for Adama as the leader of the remains of humanity is almost inexpressible. But his qualifications as a father are questionable, but he makes it on my list because he demonstrates that one can learn from mistakes and grow into a better person. Adama and his son Lee (Jamie Bamber) are individually and relationally a huge part of the show. When BSG begins they are estranged due to the death of the (I think) younger Adama son Zack, who died in a flying accident two years before. Lee and Adama fight bitterly but love fiercely. They push at each other, defy each other, and disappoint each other, but each rises up like a gladiator when the other is threatened or in danger. Adama has worked through a great deal of his parenting issues in his relationship with Kara Thrace (Katee Sackhoff). I wonder if any amount of love, or therapy, could fundamentally alter Kara, but Adama is the one loving influence she accepts without fear or cynicism. Kara’s acceptance encourages Adama to rectify his relationship with Lee. Adama is a very real parent; he has made grievous mistakes, but he loves his son too much to make those mistakes a pattern of behavior. Even in the face of failure he still tries. And every time Adama and Lee hug I tear up a little bit.

The TV Girl

PS. Dont forget to share...

I Stand Corrected

That was a pretty exciting minute last night during the game. Congrats to the Giants.

Yawn...what is this? Baseball?

So the Super Bowl is on and if it werent for my parents fancy new HD TV set, I would be bored out my mind. There are 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter and the score is Patriots 7, Giants 3. Am I watching a baseball game? Add to the fact that I could care less about who wins and the best commercials I've seen so far are from a tire company, Super Bowl Sunday is looking pretty bleak. However, there are some bright spots. Etrade's commercial with the baby was definitely entertaining. Tom Brady is playing horribly and has been sacked 5 times. My mom has some delicious brownies left over from a faculty party. Tom Brady just threw another incomplete pass. Yawn...start of the 4th quarter and the score remains 7 to 3.

As boring as the last 2 hours have been, I have come to sincerely appreciate high definition televison. I've been able to see where Pam Mack's makeup line begins and ends and Tom Coughlin's pock marks which I assume are weather wounds from his night on the Frozen Tundra. I've been able to see clearly into Bill Bellicheats conscience and there is a giant GUILTLY clearly visible on the left membrane. I've also been able to see sentences forming in Peyton Manning's mind. "I haate dem Patriots." and "Guud...job...little...brudder."

And the Giants just scored. Yes. I can't wait to see the tears flowing from Tom Brady's face. In high def.

Cold Weather Brings Out the Worst In People

So I returned home from a party this evening/early morning to discover that someone had written the word SLUT in the snow that heavily blanketed my car.

Oh no...they are on to me and my wicked ways. But seriously, it must be this cold weather that makes people so feisty.

And Now for some Fun

The Band Meme

1. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

My results:

Band Name: Baseball NT
Album Title: It worth the effort
Album Cover:

Inspiration

I'm currently in the process of writing two reviews for a friend and also working on short, non-fiction piece about the summers I spent working 3rd shift at a baseball stadium, driving a zamboni-esque cleaning machine and fighting off horny Mexicans.

The problem is, the time I set aside for writing seems to stunt my creativity and then, while I'm at work all these good ideas come to me so I have to jot them down on an office pad that I used to categorize all my bosses' ridiculous requests. And when I have stirring thoughts that I'm about to write down, the damn phone rings, I answer and forget all about that one perfect sentence.

I'm going to have to start looking for inspiration in random places. Or turn my apartment into an office and have my roommates call me 24/7 from the other room asking me to fill the fax machine with paper or check the weather website for the next 5 hours updating them on the winter storm progress or alphabetize their entire tape demo collection. Yeah.

But things are looking up...LOST starts again tonight and I couldn't be more excited to get frustrated.

There Will Be Blah...

So I just went to see Daniel Day Lewis' movie, There Will Be Blood. Intense, with a capital i. I'm not sure I followed all the themes and I have yet to read Upton Sinclair's novel, Oil, which supposedly served as inspiration for the film. The movie is intense from the start. The first 10 minutes are absolutely silent and it merely shows D.D. Lewis digging, sleeping, digging, grunting, falling, moaning, breathing, crying, smoking, staring and digging again. However boring these mindless activities may seem, watching him do it onscreen is still captivating. The movie makes some interesting points about faith, family and greed. And on the whole, the character of Daniel Plainview is something of a demagogue. He is a man slowly building a portfolio of wealth only to have it consume and ruin him as a human being. It is fascinating to watch his demise.

The ending left me feeling blah. And like I wanted to punch someone. The whole movie borders on this psychotic behavior waiting to bust open and when you are finally released from your seat and from the theater, all you want to do is vent your energy somehow, preferably in the form of violence. But not to worry, all I did was smoke a cigarette much to the chagrin of my fellow movie-going buddy.

Anyway, this movie is not for the faint of heart. It does have moments of humor though and watching Paul Dano as an evangelical preacher after his near mute performance in Little Miss Sunshine is certainly a treat. But the real story is Daniel Day Lewis. I dont know how the man does it but he pours his heart and soul and body into this role so much so that you wonder what the real Daniel is like due to his intense Method acting. Overall, you should check it out. Beware it moves slowly but the slow pace has a purpose since you are witnessing the rise and fall of a singular man over 30 years.

And, to TV Girl, I started writing that post on October Road. I call it, "October Road or henceforth to be known as the Show That Made Me Want to Cut off My Legs (0)." More to come later...

A Bunch of HillBillary

I have no intention of turning this into some sort of political blog and inudate you with my theories or opinions. Thats Fort Knock's job. However, this picture made me giggle uncontrollably for at least five minutes.



Inappropriate, maybe. HI-larious, definitely.

Facing the Stench

There is a deserted lobby on the 2nd floor of my building. The door is never locked and the offices down there seem to be perpetually "under construction." Personally, I think the offices are closed due to a malpractice suit by the cosmetic "doctor" who used to operate down there. I've heard rumors about him and his "magic hands."

Anyway, due to the recent bout of freezing weather, a majority of Chicago's homeless have taken to sleeping in whatever warmth they can possibly muster. With the lack of security and our open door policy, the lobby has come to resemble a St. Vincent DePaul shelter. It has also become a teeming cesspool of unfathomable rankness. Now, I dont want to sound like an aristocratic bitch but in all honesty, the stench is unbearable. So unbearable that my thick down coat collar, my hand, a hat and a glove could do nothing to mitigate the stench. The mixture of piss, rotted food, grease and many other untraceable scents were causing me to literally heave up my stomach and the rest of my innards for that matter. I dont know if it was God punishing me for thinking that these people should bathe, but the elevator decided to take extra long to get there, almost as if it knew what awaited below. As I stood there trying to hold back three weeks worth of meals from spilling out of my mouth, I caught the eye of one of the ladies. She was wearing an old, green sweater with holes the size of saucers. She had on several pairs of tube socks, all different colors and she had wrapped her head in newspaper to serve as makeshift earmuffs. Her 6 teeth were a rotted yellow and her skin was weather worn and red. She smiled at me, an odd smile. It was a combination of "How did I get here wearing newspaper on my head" to "That's right...I smell and I smell bad and you have to sit here and drink it in." She made an indecipherable motion with her hand and then fell over on top of another man. Like when a heavy object falls on a mattress and feathers fly, this women's experience with gravity caused her to release another horrendous strain of the stench. I could also feel myself sinking into their giant pool of pollution. Just as face began to contort into inhuman shapes, my nose starting to burn, the elevator took pity on me and arrived. I practically pried the doors open with my fingernail and breathed in fresh elevator air.

As the doors were closing, I noticed that earmuff woman had woken up. Her 6 yellow teeth smiled at me again as the doors shut and the odorous beast was beaten back by stainless steel doors and my stomach finally returned to its normal position.

Tomorrow, I'm taking the stairs.

A Moment of Retardation

As I was leaving work, I grabbed my headphones out of my bag and stuck them in my ears. Usually the volume on my ipod is super low just because I get paranoid about other people hearing my music AND the fact that its super annoying when you can hear other people's music when they are wearing headphones. Anyway, I dont know if it was my hearing loss or the fact that I'd been awake for 12 hours but it took me the entire walk to the train (about 5 city blocks) to realize that the headphones were plugged into nothing and that my ipod was sitting right where I had left it this morning, in the charger.

Worst of the worst of the worst

So a while back, I made a list of actresses that made me want to throw up in my mouth. Now, I'd like to the same with the men. Since my dear friend TV Girl has dedicated a blog to TV, she has made me think more in depthly (is that word?) regarding actors and the craft in general.

Asiankp's BlackList of No Talent Ass Clowns (list is subject to debate):

1.) Paul Walker-if you look past the beautiful blue eyes and a jaw chiseled by Michelangelo himself, the man cannot act. He just cant. Anyone who disagrees with me on this should watch "Into the Blue."

2.) Josh Hartnett-Again, he has a beautiful jawline but since when did squinting become an acting technique?

3.) Chad Michael Murray-a well placed sigh here and there and a look of pained anguish to convey every emotion. It's like he knows he's awful and he apologizing to the audience already.

4.) Ashton Kutcher-like a kid on a sugar high. A perpetual sugar high. He did the comedy thing (Dude Where's My Car) and then the serious thing (Butterfly Effect) but lets be honest, do you ever see him as anything else but Kelso?

5.) Dane Cook-enough already. I'm sick of you and your tourgasm. You make me want to pluck out my eyes.

6.) Hayden Christensen-Who can forget his anguished Darth Vader screaming, "Padme, nooooo"?

7.) Orlando Bloom-again the squinting...although I do enjoy him in Lord of the Rings but what man in his right mind gets overshadowed by a hobbit? And Viggo Mortensen pretty much eclipsed any other man in that series.

8.) Arnold--please never come back. stay in california.

RIP HEATH

I cant believe this is the third RIP I've written on this blog. I'm not sure why I'm so shocked at his death...I figure a majority of the Hollywood stars dabble in drugs and have issues and demons that I'll never have, except for Dakota Fanning and even she is questionable given her almost unnatural cheeriness and energy. But then again, the guy was so young and was poised to become a memorable actor for our generation. It's different when you hear about the old timers like Jimmy Stewart passing and I wouldnt even be surprised to hear of Jack Nicholson's passing (note: he is NOT dead) but this is different because I feel like I sort of aged with Heath. In a weird way. I mean, I was a fan of 10 Things I Hate About You..that movie came out when I was in high school and it was sort of staple movie to quote. Then there was A Knights Tale and subsequent other fluff pictures. Then there was his edgy, first grown up role as a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain and the papers screamed "Teen Star Grows Up and Gets Gay." Well, they didnt say that directly but you know what I mean. So, in a way, I feel like I've grown up with him and watch his career blossom and take off. And now he has passed away.

I'd like to know what your favorite Heath movie is...mine is definitely 10 Things and maybe you never liked the guy at all and thought he was shite actor but still, if you had to pick one, what would be your fav (I'll even include the upcoming Batman which he stars as the Joker, which could be everyone's new favorite.)

Heath Ledger Filmography:
10 Things I Hate About You
Two Hands
The Patriot
Monster's Ball
A Knights Tale
The Four Feathers
The Order
Ned Kelly
Casanova
Brokeback Mountain
The Brothers Grimm
Lords of Dogtown
Candy
I'm Not There
The Dark Knight

Conspiracy Theories

A guy I work with insists that the Iraq war, Bay of Pigs invasion, 9/11, and a score of other historical events were all conspiracies concocted by our government to scare the living shit out of us citizens. In addition, all these conspiracies are a plot to make the rich even richer. And the rich people of the world like the Bush's, Vanderbilt's and Rockefellers are all in on an even eviler plot to take over the world. I'm sure tomorrow he will tell me that global warming is the poor persons way of thwarting the rich people's evil ploy to freeze their assets. (haha...asiankp takes a small delight in her little pun.)

Anyway, I'm not sure I follow and honestly, I didnt think Rockefeller's even existed anymore. I have a vague memory of a Rockefeller being mentioned in the same breath as the Titanic but thats about it. And that was over 97 years ago.

I'm not sure I'm fitting in at work.

However, I downloaded this interesting expose on Scientology. Should be some quality entertainment.

The 4 Things Meme

I'm about to do my first meme. Well, at least a meme that I initiate. My cousin sent me this forward about 4 things and since it was only 4 things, I decided to fill it out and send it back. Easy enough. I thought it would make good blog fodder. So here it is.

4 Things Meme

4 Jobs I've had in my life: 1. Night shift custodial cleaner/heavy machines operator>> 2. Housekeeping for Spa>> 3. Receptionist/Office Manager>> 4. Casting Associate

4 movies I've watched more than once: 1. The Power of One>>2. The Shawshank Redemption>>3. Waiting for Guffman>>4. 7 Brides for 7 Brothers

4 places where I have lived:1. Irving, TX>> 2. Brookfield, WI>> 3 .Chicago, IL>> 4. Rome, Italy

4 TV Shows that I watch: 1. Chuck> > 2. Pushing Daisies> > 3. Without a Trace> > 4. American Idol

4 places I have been:> > 1. Colombia> > 2. Poland> > 3. Greece> > 4. Korea> >

4 things you might not know about me:> > 1. I've been cliff jumping in Switzerland> > 2. I geek out over the new iPhone and Moleskine daily planners.> > 3. I blog.> > 4. I hate answering my phone.

4 places I would rather be right now:> > 1. South America> > 2. Heaven> > 3. In bed> > 4. On a beach

4 things I am looking forward to this year:> > 1. Becca's wedding> > 2. Ellen's wedding> > 3. Susan's wedding> > 4. Not attending weddings for another 3 months after that

So theres the meme. So now I tag Crystal, Fort Knocks, Mags, Phil and TV Girl and Laughing Salmon. I pretty much just tagged everyone I know.

In Honor of the King***

And I mean, Martin Luther King, the "I have a dream" guy, my roommates and I are going to have fried chicken and watch Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Well, at least I'm going to watch the Terminator because a.) there is nothing else on and the damn writers strike is ruining my life and b.) lena headey kicks ass.


***as it turns out, I did not watch the Sarah Connor Chronicles but instead watched a horrible movie called "The Contractor" with Wesley Snipes. There was one part that was good and it contained 2 minor characters and they were both crying and the age difference was about 30 years. Am I making no sense? Thats how I felt after this film.

Heartbroken

My dear Packers have lost. To the Giants. The effin Giants. Favre throws an interception on the second play in overtime and the Giants drive down the field to kick a 47 yard field goal. Mind you, their kicker has missed the last two attempts at 34 yards and 40 yards. In 5 short minutes, our Super Bowl dreams have ended. I am a mix of anger and disappointment and just flat out knocked out. Like someone took the wind out of me. The sad thing is...this was supposed to be Favre's golden ride into the sunset. He was supposed to connect with Driver for another 40+ yard run for a touchdown and the win in OT. We were going to crack the bottle of champagne left over from a brunch and smoke victory cigarettes talking about how this was one of the most exciting games we've watched and how Brett Favre might be the greatest quarterback ever to play the game.

Instead, the room deflated and everyone left in silence. A mournful silence. And now I have to cheer for the Giants.

I just read John Mayers blog where he defends Jessica Simpson

And I dont really know what to think. Part of me applauds the guy for sticking up for his ex and honestly, you really think that Jessica Simpson, of all people, had something to do with the Cowboys loss. Please. The Cowboys are a flashy team with a hot quarterback and no heart. And a T.O. Frankly, I believe they are just a team with no soul.

But then again, it makes me laugh. Jessica must have done a number on John for him to write what he did. Perhaps he'll write a song about it someday. And to be sure, it will bring tears to the eyes of pre-pubescent girls and make me throw up in my mouth.

Bobby Fischer, where is he? I dont know, I dont know...

Unfortunately, Asiankp does know. Mr. Fischer has died. This makes three. Asiankp hates being right about death.

In honor of Mr. Fischer, everyone should check out Searching for Bobby Fischer with Joe Mantegna and Laurence Fishburne.

I'm Always Cold

So, now that I have a 9-5 job, it requires me to wear a somewhat professional wardrobe. Well, me being me, I dont have a ton of professional garb that is a.) comfortable b.) correctly falls into the category of professional and c.) fits. I know there are ways to fix problem c. but in order to do that, one must have proper funds and since I have been "funemployed" for the last 3 months or so, the funds are not there or they are being spent on other necessitites such as rent and electricity.

As a result, I usually end up wearing the same pair of pants twice, maybe even 3 times during the week. I change it up with different tops of course but in the end, I end up just wearing my coat. In an effort to mix up the pants with different tops, I end up wearing tops that I'm not crazy about. To solve this problem and not look like Helen Keller dressed me in the morning, I wear my coat. All. day. My coat is kinda like my security blanket. I wear it all the time. I wear it in church. I wear in the car. I wear it to dinner parties. It really never leaves my body unless I'm sleeping or swimming. Part of it is insecurity but really, I just like wearing my coat.

However, its tough to explain this to co-workers who continually pass my desk asking why I'm wearing my coat. I usually tell them that I'm just cold. This works well in the morning because they assume that I've just come in from the chilly Chicago winter but when 3:00 rolls around and I'm still wearing my coat, I'm sure they are wondering what my problem is. Some of them pass by the desk and grab their shoulders and say, "ooo...brrrr. you must be chilly still." I tell them I'm just cold all the time. Like its a problem I have. Sometimes they agree with me but sometimes, I get a look from the guy in the short sleeves and I feel like he can see right through my coat. And my act. And I know deep down he wants to steal my coat.

RIP Brad

I just heard that Brad Renfro died. RIP. For those of you who dont know who Brad Renfro is, you should check out The Client, Sleepers and if you are in happy, go-lucky mood, try Tom and Huck. And since people die in threes and dear Rosa has died, Asiankp can only wonder who is next?

Baby-Cam and Married Peoples

Tonight I babysat for a family that has a baby monitor with a video screen. It was the weirdest thing ever. It was just like all the other regular baby monitors but it had a video screen attached that was connected to a camera hidden in the baby's room and positioned on the crib so if the baby cries, you can look and see whats going on before you run into the room. Which is weird on several levels.

Also, I have an issue with married people. I'm sure this is going to be taken out of context but I know ALOT of married people. Some of them are great friends of mine and will always be great friends but some of them, upon getting married, become detached in a way and somewhat haughty about their remaining single friends. Do I think they do this out of spite? Absolutely not. I do however feel that there is a sort of mindset that they enter, and rightfully so, they are now part of another, 2 becoming 1, etc. , but I have found that some of them adopt a wholly indifferent mindset towards the singletons of the world. It is a mindset that they, perhaps adopt subconsciously, but it is still annoying and, in certain cases, rude. For example, the couple that I was babysitting for was hosting a couples with children workshop. Upon entering the room, a couple that I know eyed me, took me aside and said, "Asiankp, what in the world are you doing here?" I resisted saying that I got married Vegas and was pregnant and just smiled and said something about being there to babysit. With (and I swear I saw it) a sigh of relief, they said, "Oh that makes sense. We didnt think you were here for the workshop."

Damn right. I was not there for the effin workshop. You see, marriage is great. It is a wonderful and beautiful thing. However, you are not part of some cool club now and there is no reason for you to act better than me just because you are married. I'm not a cynic and I hope to get married someday but somebody shoot me before I act like that. Granted, I know several couples who have not changed one iota since marriage. And they are awesome. And I would like to thank each and every one of those folks for their stellar example.

Sometimes my job makes me feel 5 years old

I mean, the work is definitely not the work of the five year old. For example, today I spent the entire morning, afternoon and late afternoon on the phone setting up auditions. I even got chewed out by a dyslexic man. It was not my fault and for the record, I sympathized with him.

However, when my boss calls me Pumpkin, Sweetie Pie, Hunny Bunny and other "pet names," I often feel as though I'm back in kindergarten and Mrs. Loomis is telling me not to turn the class plants upside down and to finish my math facts so I can outside for recess.

But then again, its kinda funny and endearing. I mean, how often in the workplace do you hear the term Hunny Bunny multiple times and what are the odds that its directed at you?

My Love Affair with YouTube

Yes. YouTube and I have now entered a relationship. Its is consensual and it is pure, pure love. Seriously, I was a big fan of YouTube since it began but now, I'm head over heels in love. Where else can you re-live one of the greatest upsets in college football, or watch a fabulous tribute video to your favorite TV show or even watch horrible movies because you are too cheap to rent them but you still want some eye candy. Nowhere else but YouTube.
I've even begun to contribute to the relationship but due to the nature of the video content, I will not link them here. I feel the general public is not ready for their weirdness.

That's all I have really. I just wanted to share the joy with the rest of you.

Boring Boring Boring

One of my favorite movies contains a scene with a musical number where the characters dress up like small town folk and dance with an alien. They sing a song called "Nothing Ever Happens on Mars." Can you name the movie?

As you can tell from my last 3 posts, I'm now boring. I have some semblance of a normal life back which means go to bed at a decent hour, work a 9 to 5er, home, dinner, maybe a few minutes of the boob tube, bed and then it all starts again. A vicious cycle. No more staying up until 3am watching clips on YouTube. No more movies at night. No more movies during the day. Its like normal life dries up my well of creativity. Not that it was a thriving spring before but I did have a few good days. I'm not sure what this says about me. Can I only thrive in a state of unemployment and find joy in being unproductive and lazy? Am I doomed to become just another non-ghetto, yuppie, pod person?

Why is Missouri Called the "Show-Me" State?

Since Fort Knocks has graciously offered a humorous and enlightening post on the recent campaigns, I thought I would attempt to return the favor and answer a query of his regarding Missouri's questionable state nickname:

There are a number of stories and legends behind Missouri's sobriquet "Show-Me" state. The slogan is not official, but is common throughout the state and is used on Missouri license plates.
The most widely known legend attributes the phrase to Missouri's U.S. Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver. In a speech there, he declared, "I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs. However the slogan originated, it has since passed into a different meaning entirely, and is now used to indicate the stalwart, conservative, noncredulous character of Missourians.

Yes I cut out a majority of the quote because between you and me, it doesnt really matter. Kinda like the campaigns.

A Moment of Dumas

Do you remember that scene in the Shawshank Redemption when Red and his fellow prisoners are sorting through books to put into the newly furnished library? Well, its a great movie so shame on you if you havent seen it. Anyway, Heywood, a fellow prisoner, picks up the Count of Monte Cristo written by Alexandre Dumas and says, "Whose this fellow? This Alexandry Dum-Ass..." Anyway, it always makes me chuckle because a.) It happens to be one of my favorite books and b.) I have definitely heard people with way more education than old Heywood prounounce it the exact same way.

Well, I had a moment of Dumas last night when I burned myself on the eye with my cigarette. Here's the thing, I hadn't had anything to drink, I wasnt driving and there was absolutely no reason in the world that I needed to raise my hand at that moment. It was, purely and simply, a moment of Dumas.


If you look closely right above the iris, you can see a burn shaped like the tip of the finger. Or something like that. Also, please ignore my unplucked eyebrow. Sick.

Hydration is Key

So all of my creative juices and energies are being focused into getting this job I'm currently vying for, so I've decided to turn to other mediums on this blog. For my first test:



I think I'm going to have to fire my cameraman, or in is this case, camera woman.

A good question

So, Mags was recently watching the news and heard an ad for a $25 million bounty from the U.S. for Osama Bin Laden-dead or alive. She then posted this question: What would be easier for a person like me: assassinating Bin Laden or winning the lottery?

I think thats a great question and deserves some real thought. I mean, what are the chances? Seriously. Ponder that.

BUT...this just made me giggle.

Congratualtions! You are 6% ghetto

It looks like you keep yourself out of the ghetto and are living ghetto free. Also, you may be white.

How Ghetto Are You
Create Your Own Quiz

If you are a family member of mine and happened to witness my salad bowl performance of "albino", this should make you chuckle.

It May Be Time for a Life Change

So, Mags has sucked me in again with her little quizzy quiz quizzoids. I think this will be my last one seeing as I'm not sure that attracting yuppies is a good thing. And, I'm pretty sure that its not true because I only seem to attract men over 50 with no necks. Long story but it involves a bodybuilder named Leo, a bar in my neighborhood that I hate and far too much alcohol.

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract models!
You attract artsy people!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Freedom just another word for nothing left to lose...

I had an interview this morning. It went well. I'm going to fill in temporarily until they decide if they want me there full-time. Which means, the rest of the week, I'm on trial and I just have to show them how indispensible and brilliant I am. If anyone has any ideas on how to do that without being a total kiss-ass, please let me know.

The interview lasted about 20 minutes or so. Pretty good considering the last one was only a short 9.4 minutes. It was downtown right off of Michigan Ave and since I never go downtown, I thought I would hang out for a few. I ended up in a Starbucks doing the crossword and staring at all the little girls and flustered moms walking by with their giant American Girl bags. I could only take so much of that so I left and continued to traverse down Michigan toward my El stop. I ran into tons of shoppers eagerly running into the Gap to redeem their gift cards. I saw similar behavior outside the Apple store too. On a sidenote, during the holidays, I had the opportunity to play with the iPhone and let me just say, the thing is REALLY quite cool. I would never have the money to purchase one of these and even if I did, it would go towards food and maybe a new pair of shoes, but gosh darn, they are fun, fun little gadgets.

Anyway, as I was thinking about the new year and how I might have a job for a while, I mourned the fact that now that I was beginning to have some stability and a set schedule, I would no longer have the freedom to travel whenever I wanted. Which stinks because I had some pretty great ideas:

-Road trip with my brother out East to visit relatives and friends
-Cali to visit my cousin and my roommate who may no longer be there now that I've waited so long
-Utah for some kick ass camping/climbing with cousin
-Portland to visit a friend
-NYC because its NYC
-Michigan to visit friends and see friend's new baby
-Visits to the movie theater in the middle of the day to see matinees

Do not ask me why I used a Janis Joplin lyric for the title of this post. It has no relevance whatsoever.

What Book Are You?

Taking a cue from Lagartija and Mags, I took the What Book Are You Quiz. Results as follows:

You're The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!
by C.S. Lewis

You were just looking for some decent clothes when everything changed
quite dramatically. For the better or for the worse, it is still hard to tell. Now it
seems like winter will never end and you feel cursed. Soon there will be an epic
struggle between two forces in your life and you are very concerned about a betrayal
that could turn the balance. If this makes it sound like you're re-enacting Christian
theological events, that may or may not be coincidence. When in doubt, put your trust
in zoo animals.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

The second time around I was The Giver which comes with this description: While you grew up with a sheltered childhood, you're pretty sure everyone around you is even more sheltered. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, you were tapped on the shoulder and transported to the real world. This made you horrified by your prior upbringing and now you're tormented by how to reconcile these two lives. Ultimately, the struggle comes down to that old free will issue. Choose wisely.

Choose wisely. The new motto for Asiankp's 08 Year.

Sleep Apnea*

* thanks to Mags for the correct spelling

I have no idea what the word really means but I thought it would be a nice title for this post. Its almost 1 am and I'm still wide awake. Lately, I've been going to bed around 3 or 4am and then waking up around 11am the next day. I do not recommend this lifestyle but I've adopted it lately since I havent had a full time job since September. Therefore, I do it because I can. Here are some other things I do because I can:

-make Asian jokes
-drink vodka with V8 Berry Splash
-blog at 1am in the morning
-watch 3 movies in one day
-dance around my apartment naked

I'm not saying these are necessarily good things and I'm pretty sure the only one that really applies to what I'm getting at is the first one.

Katulia Pryiles (hint: Its a portmanteau)

So, I had to copy my cousin, Lagartija and do this. The result is hilarious seeing as the My Heritage site doesnt take into account skin color or nationality.



Ahh...its a little scary when my face starts to eat itself.

Worst of the Worst

So the holidays give me lots of time to think. And while I'm on the subject of thinking, I'd like to share with you thoughts that have been permeating my brain lately. Bad actresses.

Without further ado:

Asiankp's List of Actresses who Make Her Throw up in Her Mouth:

1.) Kirsten Dunst--with the exception of Bring it On where I feel she was just being herself, the girl is flat out awful. Just awful. I can't watch any movie with her without cringing. The proof: Spiderman 1,2,3,; Marie Antoniette; Elizabethtown; Beatiful; pretty much any movie she's done.

2.) Cameron Diaz--I know she's pretty but seriously, did anyone else see her "crying" scene in The Holiday?

3.) Kate Bosworth--another pretty face but sadly, a no-talent ass clown. The thing is, I think she has it in her, the right project just hasnt come along. Unfortunately, Superman, Blue Crush and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton did.

4.) Halle Berry--I know she won an Oscar but apparently the Academy tends to overlook stuff like Gothika and Catwoman.

5.) Katie Holmes--even pre-Tom Cruise brainwash, she was only mediocre. If you have a soft spot in your heart for her character Joey of Dawson's Creek fame, just watch Batman Begins.

6.) Jessica Simpson--enough said. Dont quit your dayjob.

7.) Hillary Duff--ditto on Jessica.

On the fence: Jennifer Aniston, Romola Garai, Lindsay Lohan, Heather Graham

Feel free to add your own to this list. I know I'm forgetting someone.

Post Christmas Post

Christmas has come and gone but my bellyache still lingers. It must have been the 4 gingerbread men I ate last night. Dont judge. If you saw those gingerbread men, I'm sure you would have eaten 4 too. They were practically begging me to eat them. Groveling, in fact. I'm sure I can think of a million ways to justify eating them but the real honest reason is that I have no willpower and I love frosting with sprinkles and the smell of gingerbread.

Baby Jesus' birthday was a pretty rockin party. We had a rousing game of salad bowl and decided to mix it up a little bit by playing the singles vs. married couples. Pretty close game and I'm pretty loathe to admit that the married folk beat us by 4 points. I dont want to point fingers but a certain cousin who will remain nameless could have easily won us the game had she not had a brain freeze. But, no hard feelings Mags. Really. I loved watching my parents victory "dance" and the subsequent gloating that followed. Food was good as always. Nothing can beat an Italian Christmas.

In terms of gifts, I ended up with a nice haul. My folks got me a mini video recorder called the Small Wonder which I have affectionately dubbed, Little Buddy. Anyway, its similar to a video camera but smaller and equipped with software that makes it easy to email, post, etc. Perhaps I shall turn this blog into a video blog or vlog, but I'm on the fence about that because that would mean I would have to show my face.

My father is sitting behind me begging me to go see the new Nic Cage movie. you know, that National Treasure: Book of Secrets movie. He is relentless. He will not let me finish typing until I give him an answer.....umm...maybe? Okay, that seems to sedate him. Oh no wait, he's back....yes Dad....yes Dad....okay, I should run and explain to him how Nic Cage is not the new actor for the millenium.

OH yeah in OH

Its 60 degrees and gorgeous in Ohio today. I'm on hour 22 of this whirlwind trip but let me tell you, it's been amazing. I'd like to insert my favorite cliche here to describe the experience: Good food, good family and good fun. My little cousin is currently infatuated with all things Pirates so we just played Pirates of the Caribbean in the backyard and before he does anything he asks, "Do pirates eat sausage?" or "Do pirates take naps?" or my favorite, "Do pirates have Christmas?" He's so cool. He has also taken to reciting lines from the Pirate movies so he'll stand up on a chair and shout at the top of his lungs, "DO WE HAVE AN ACCORD MEN??" Its so refreshing and genuinely sweet to see kids be so excited about something. When was the last time we were so excited about something that we breathed, ate and slept it? I can only speak for myself when I say that time has come and gone. And I miss it.

Breaking up is hard to do...

I was winning the game. See, my roommate and I started a game to pass the time while smoking. We had a rather large pot at the bottom of our staircase so we would take turns trying to get the butts in the pot. (That sentence is so weird to write.) Anyway, if you got the cig butt in, you got two points. If it went in off the rim, you got one. Well, I was kicking butt until my roommate decided to quit smoking without asking me. So, I was regulated to either play the game by myself or be lulled into a false sense of victory. I took the latter which would explain why I posted this picture and took to the world wide interweb to brag about my dominance of our cig-in-the-pot game.

I'm also sitting here, while my roommates are snug in bed, waiting for my folks to pick me up for our impromptu 24 hour visit to Ohio which would explain the lame post because I feel like I should blog about waiting to go on this trip but I dont really have anything to say except it surprises me that my folks have decided to be so impromptu at this stage in their life. What will they think of next? Reading my blog? Heavens to Betsy, hell no.

2 Sticks and a Knife

So my cousin has been out in the mountains of Utah working at a wilderness therapy program for troubled teens. Its a pretty heavy deal but he's doing awesome and the work sounds challenging but fulfilling. Anyway, one of things they do with the kids is teach them to start a fire without matches or any lighter fluid. Nothing else but two sticks, tree bark, and a knife. I was doubtful about the process but then he demonstrated for me right there on the porch in the middle of a Chicago neighborhood. And let me tell you, it was the COOLEST thing I've ever seen. I want to explain it but wont be able to do it justice. However, watching him make this primitive fire was like being transported in time and I was a caveman smacking my head against the wall while a smarter homosapien was rubbing two sticks together and creating magic. Okay, thats a stretch...but it was like that. It earned my utmost respect and admiration. So thats that. The quickest way to my heart is to make me a fire using two sticks and knife.

Elsewhere, our bathroom is going through some renovation. Basically we have water damage to our bathroom floor which is causing cracked tiles which is causing the ceiling below to slowly cave in which is causing our creeping landlord to come over more than usual. So anyway, the bathroom is being renovated (FINALLY) because my landlord finally got the point that when I'm sitting on the toilet, I feel like I'm going to fall right through the floor. So in one sense I'm happy about the problem finally being fixed but another part of me worries that a 3-day job is going to turn into a 3-week job and I'm going to end up with some sick ill-matching tile on the floor.

Although this made me laugh when I came home:

Awesome. Now we can do our laundry and do our business at the same time. Two birds, one stone.

Got Rice?

One of my favorite videos that I recently re-discovered. Not for kids. Rated PG13 for language and disturbing cartoon images.

Its beginning to look alot like Christmas

Now, I dont mean to brag or nothing but I am quite fond of wrapping packages in brown paper...you know...like the song: Brown paper packages tied up with string...these are a few of my favorite things. And I think I'm darn good at it.

And another with color:

And finally, the snow has fallen and it is B-E-A-UTIFUL.

Online Shopping

Saturdays are usually useless. I sleep in late and the only thing that separates Saturdays from the rest of the week for me is that my roommates are home. Such is the life of the unemployed citizen. However, this morning was entirely productive. I woke up at a decent hour and spent the morning cleaning and Christmas shopping online. I resisted the urge to shop in my underwear and showered and put on clothing. Crazy, I know. Here's the thing, online shopping is awesome. With 2 clicks of a button, you are safe from long lines, annoying holiday help and clusterfucks. Also, prices seem to be more reasonable. For example a book that I wanted to buy from Barnes and Noble cost $25.00 in store but $15.00 at Amazon and with shipping costs, its still cheaper than going to B&N. So here is my holiday advice: Shop online.

Another random thingy- Pushing Daisies was nominated for 3 Golden Globes, including Best New Comedy/Musical Series on TV. Hoo-rah. Its about time the Hollywood Foreign Press acknowledges something other than the Sopranos, Greys Anatomy and 24.

Apologies in Advance

So, Fort Knocks has thrown out a meme and I cannot refuse. It goes as follows:

1. Find a poem (or two, if you're ambitious) that you wrote in high school. If you can't find a poem, find a piece of prose. If you can't find a piece of prose, find a history paper or something.

2. Post it!

3. Tag three people to do the same.

So, here begins the humiliation. In my high school English class, we had two options for the final. Write a paper or write 2 poems on one theme we had discussed. This is the result:

A flower with a perfect bud
Nipped and developed
Planted deep within the sod
Growing and flourishing
Never wilts and never faulters
It's growing all the time
Soon it will be fine as wine
Try to grasp reality,
We are not perfect, it and me.

A work of art
With such flourish
Making like a whirling dervish
Colors smart and shine like the sun
As a childs face while having fun
The frame is cold, the artist old
But still the painting leaves me cold
Try to grasp reality,
We are not perfect, it and me.

Perfect face and hands and feet
Always trimmed, always neat
Never a hair out of place
Powdered white and pretty face
Groomed for style and pampered too
Frosty like the morning dew
Try to grasp reality,
We are not perfect, you and me.

Totally cringe-worthy. So now, I tag Mags, LaGartija, and Laughing Salmon.

There IS such a thing as trying too hard

I don't mean to be Captain Obvious here but I have noticed that a majority of people I know are trying too hard. Plain and simple. Just trying too hard. It is noticeable in the way they talk, write, act and many other actions that humans do. I myself have been guilty of trying too hard but what I've seen lately is just making me sick to my stomach. I want to call them out but I fear the repercussions so I think I'll just sit back and laugh to myself at all the silly people who are trying just too damn hard.

Winter Wonderland

Yesterday, I went to visit my friend who is teaching at LFA, a private prep boarding school in one of the richest neighborhoods in the country. Several of the students who attend live in castles and their fathers own fighter jets just for fun. The school however does NOT disappoint. I was thoroughly impressed with the architecture of the school, it was rather Victorian, I think...and a majority of the classes are held in a giant mansion affectionately called The Mansion. The grounds are impressive as well. There is a section that reminded me of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon touched with icicles and fresh powdery snow. The students seemed pretty normal although I did manage to identify the Plastic girls right away. If you dont know what I mean when I refer to the Plastics then we have no business being friends. All in all, it was a good day.

But back to reality, I was perusing the Chicago craigslist ads today and saw a posting for a FEMALE personal assistant for established Hollywood Producer. Naturally I was intruiged which occurs 97% of the time I'm on craigslist. They dont ask for much, just a resume and a picture. Part of me is dying to apply, just to see. However, jobs that often require a picture make me wary. It seems to me that by asking for a picture, this prospective employer desires someone fairly attractive. This was also evident by the specific capitalization of the word FEMALE in the title. Which annoys me. Why ask for a picture? Just put in your description: Seeking someone highly attractive with low body mass index and nice skin and big boobs. By asking for a picture, it implies that looks are incredibly important because a.) you are going places and want to get noticed by having some hot arm candy or b.) you are incredibly shallow and materialistic or c.) you are going to use this female personal assistant for something other than errands. Why else would you ask for a picture?
So should I apply? And should I send a picture? Maybe I'll go on the internet and send a picture of some famous movie star instead. Like Lucy Lui. Then I'll show up at the interview being entirely NOT Lucy Lui. Yeah, that'll show 'em. Common Citizen--2 points. Big Bad Hollywood--0.

My Cookies bring all the boys to the yard...

Damn right...it's better than yours. My cookies (see below for full story) turned out awesome. Deliciously awesome and I did end up using the mint cocoa powder and it tastes just fine. Better than fine. The mix of mint, butterscotch, and white chocolate is actually a party in your mouth.

I'm off to Lake Forest this morning to visit a friend who is teaching up there at the local, elitist boarding school. I'm going to take a tour of the vast grounds which will be touched with a tinge of wintry goodness. Some stops on the tour include the Mansion and Some Distinguished Person's Name Library Hall. I used to always imagine what it would be like to attend boarding school and I always wanted to be one of those girls that sort of ruled the roost as the rebel--you know--who busts the rich girl for cheating or sneaks in refugees. But then I think of all the movies centered around boarding schools and how the kids have a tough life with tough stuff going on at home and parents who dont love them and I figured that my Protestant-bent, autonomous, regimented high school experience was good enough.

And a P.S.

I like this blue for the blog. Do you? Or is it too blue?

Fascination with Pies

So lately, I've been having a fascination with all things pie. For example, my new favorite show is called Pushing Daisies which is all about a pie-maker. And today, I saw a movie called Waitress which is about a young woman in an unhappy marriage who finds her release in pie-making. Perhaps its more a credit to the directors and artistic directors because what is so fascinating is the process of the pie making. And the way they film it and the details they take in creating that effect for viewers. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

It has even inspired me to start baking more. So today, I'm going to make white chocolate and butterscotch cookies. Could these two ingredients be gross together? Probably, but I dont care. I'm reckless like that. But then again chocolate and butterscotch are pretty divine things so it can't be that bad. The thing is, the receipe calls for 1 tsp of Nestle Toll House cocoa baking powder. I'm not sure we have it...in fact, I positive we dont...so do you think I can just use mint cocoa powder instead?

So remember my previous post about that woman whose husband liked to make racial slurs because he thought minorities would find them funny...

Well, if you dont you can read it here. But anyway, I finally met this man on Saturday night. And he was just as vile, thoughtless and ignorant as I imagined.

Mission Accomplished Part Deux

Thats funny. When I started to type in the title of this post, it reminded me that I've already used this title. Hence, the part deux. What did I accomplish? Well for starters, I finally got a gift for the FCPE, which, I think, is pretty awesome. Even if no one else likes it, I'll steal if for myself.
I have two parties to attend this evening. Should be a good weekend.

Novena just ended. I hope all my praying pays off.

On Location...

So there is a movie being filmed in my neighborhood today. Actually, its just a few short blocks from my apartment. After a calculated trip to the nearby market, one of the security guards told me it was Jennifer Aniston and some other starts filming for a new HBO series. At first I was excited but then realized he might be lying kinda like when they were filming the Batman movie downtown and when people asked what they were filming, PAs and security personnel were instructed to say it was a film called Chris Nolans Great Adventure. (FYI: Chris Nolan is actually the director of the film). So I didnt get my hopes up but did manage to send an email to my roommates stating that Jennifer Aniston was in our neighborhood. To it's truth I cannot attest but it sounded cool in an email. However because of the film, 1 side of all the surrounding streets have been blocked off and labeled no parking zones at the behest of the Chicago PD. Now this is annoying on many levels because a.) I couldnt drive to the market because it was so crowded and I had to walk. Damn those bastards for making me exercise. and b.) there is no place to park in a 2 block radius of my apartment which makes for a very uncomfortable hike in 20 degree weather.

On the other hand, its pretty exciting to see the movie trailers lining the streets and signs on your familiar stomping grounds that say: This way to set. The starstruck schoolgirl in me is loving it.

2 Things

Thing #1: Another one of my blogging friends has made her blog an "invite-only" blog. Now, I think its shenanigans. Make it public already. Or if you are worried about weird predators on the Internet, then I can protect you. Either way, this is all about me and my ego so just let me view it already. I don't want to miss out anymore on your witty repertoire.

Thing #2: My downstairs neighbors are pretty cool. They invite us to do stuff occasionally and they comiserate with us regarding our Norman Bates-like landlord. But they do weird stuff. Like playing their music so loud that my butt vibrates as I'm trying to eat my lunch. Seriously. Around 2oclock this afternoon, I'm sitting down to a ham and cheese sandwich and going to catch up on the latest episode of Chuck when all of sudden my chair and my butt are bouncing around uncomfortably. I thought at first I was having some fated flatulence but no, it was just good vibrations. It would be ironic if that was the song, but alas, its some indecipherable banging and wailing.

And I lied...there's three things. Thing #3: I went to a yoga class today. My friend had suggested it was a good idea, you know, something to try out. Let me just say it was awesome. It energized me for the entire day so I think I'm going to go back on Saturday, contort my body and "squeeze out all the remaining negative toxins". Direct quote from my instructor.

One of those moments...

So, here am I in my bathrobe contemplating whether or not I should go food shopping. I haven't been to the grocery store in about 3 or 4 weeks, which is kinda criminal because it means I've been eating my roommates food but also kinda understandable since we just had a holiday that involves major leftovers and I spent 1 of those weeks at home eating all the good foodstuffs I want at no cost.
But the thing is...the decision to go shopping (and bear with me because I'm about to be overly analytical) is not just about getting food because I'm starving, its about having the gumption to get up and get something accomplished. Now, I'm not starting at a real good place because I know that shopping is something that people do everyday, heck, maybe even twice a day and its not something that one usually labels an "accomplishment." But since I am not working full time and am lacking for motivation in life at this point, going shopping will be an accomplishment. Which leads me to think about accomplishment in general. I dont feel that, at this point in my life, I've accomplished much. Sure, I've had a good job here and there and yes I graduated college but all these things seem like the norm to me. Recently, a whole slew of friends made big decisions in their lives which will, no doubt, foster a sense of accomplishment. One is working out in the wilderness with at risk teens--he up and made a big move knowing no one out there. Another just got a job and is working on her nursing certification. Another is an amazing mom with a baby on the way. Another moved to Spain to au pair and do something she's talked about doing for the past 4 years. Another is getting married in a few months and couldnt be happier. And still others are working hard and giving their best in whatever job they have even if its not their desired position. These are accomplishments. And they will serve to make these people better people in the long run.
So, will I go shopping? Probably. My stomach is growling way to much to ignore. And maybe, just maybe, this small victory will serve as the first in a long line of accomplishments.

The F.C.P.E

Family. Christmas. Present. Exchange. This year, all the cousins are doing our 2nd Annual FCPE. Its more like Yankee Swap or as my friend Dwight calls it, Machiavelli meets Christmas. The problem is I have absolutely no idea what to get. Last year, I bought the Die Hard trilogy set-quality holiday flicks. I'd like to think it was a hot item. I think I want to go in the movie direction again but I'm not sure which ones to get. I was thinking of getting a variety of movies from several different genres you know...like a movie starter kit...or something. My creativitiy is at an all-time low and I have no idea why. I'll blame the weather. This is a lame post so I'll spice it up a bit by including my new favorite video, starring Linda and Howie.

One of those hilarious videos that makes you pee your pants...

So, my roommate showed me this video. I was laughing non-stop for about 20 minutes during and after. She also shared this wonderful story:

Her younger sister used to participate in track and field relays. For those not familiar with relays, runners pass a baton between each other while completing different sections of the track. During a hand-off, the one handing off the baton will yell, "Stick" while the other runner will take off and throw their hand behind their back to receive the stick without breaking stride. In this particular case, my roommate's sister was receiving the baton. Her teammate yelled "Stick" so she took off running positioning her hand behind her back to receive the baton. However, the baton never came. Her teammate, in a misconstrued effort to hand off the baton, proceeded to jam the baton as hard as she could into the girls ass. Or rather right between the two cheeks. In the heat of the moment, she had missed the hand and hit where the sun don't shine. Ouch.

The funny part is, that after hearing that story, we proceeded to re-enact the entire scene all the way home from the bar (3 or 4 blocks) which consisted of each of us sneaking up on the other and yelling STICK and then punching the offending parties' buttocks. Good times, good times. I sometimes feel as though I've become handicapped with a natural immaturity.