Monday, December 03, 2007

One of those moments...

So, here am I in my bathrobe contemplating whether or not I should go food shopping. I haven't been to the grocery store in about 3 or 4 weeks, which is kinda criminal because it means I've been eating my roommates food but also kinda understandable since we just had a holiday that involves major leftovers and I spent 1 of those weeks at home eating all the good foodstuffs I want at no cost.
But the thing is...the decision to go shopping (and bear with me because I'm about to be overly analytical) is not just about getting food because I'm starving, its about having the gumption to get up and get something accomplished. Now, I'm not starting at a real good place because I know that shopping is something that people do everyday, heck, maybe even twice a day and its not something that one usually labels an "accomplishment." But since I am not working full time and am lacking for motivation in life at this point, going shopping will be an accomplishment. Which leads me to think about accomplishment in general. I dont feel that, at this point in my life, I've accomplished much. Sure, I've had a good job here and there and yes I graduated college but all these things seem like the norm to me. Recently, a whole slew of friends made big decisions in their lives which will, no doubt, foster a sense of accomplishment. One is working out in the wilderness with at risk teens--he up and made a big move knowing no one out there. Another just got a job and is working on her nursing certification. Another is an amazing mom with a baby on the way. Another moved to Spain to au pair and do something she's talked about doing for the past 4 years. Another is getting married in a few months and couldnt be happier. And still others are working hard and giving their best in whatever job they have even if its not their desired position. These are accomplishments. And they will serve to make these people better people in the long run.
So, will I go shopping? Probably. My stomach is growling way to much to ignore. And maybe, just maybe, this small victory will serve as the first in a long line of accomplishments.

3 comments:

Lagartija said...

Personally, I think there is too much focus on "accomplishments" and not enough on what is really important, like character, or an individuals actual identity. Being over Doing, right? You are an awesome person with a totally amazing personality. Don't even think of comparing when the timing is different. The person you mentioned who is out with the at-risk kids was in precisely the same situation as you just months ago, so were all those people you mentioned at one point or another. Soon you will be past this junction and on your way down the path to accomplishment.

But yeah, in the meantime, you really should go get some groceries. :)

Kay Pea said...

True. But I think in a way your accomplishments stem from your character. I dont mean accomplishments like trophies or promotions at work or how many boyfriends you had but I guess I am going for more along the lines of a sense of purpose in your life. Something that defines you. But yes, thank you. Its nice to know that everyone goes through this state of uncertainty.

mags said...

I don't know how to respond to this post, but I feel like I should because it stirred me deep inside. If it's any consolation, but I feel that way about myself pretty much every day. Life's a battle, I guess. You can always accomplish more; there will alwaysbe one reason or another to be dissatisfied with ourselves. I guess the way I see it is that you just gotta train yourself to find joy in becoming, because you're never going to be able to be happy just being in this life. I guess that's part of the curse of being a creature who values perfection in an imperfect world.

As far as your job situation goes... I'm praying for you. Don't worry, God always works things out. And I know what you mean about basic menial tasks being accomplishments: unemployment is cripplingly depressing. But keep working on it and it'll be over soon.

PS: Other than a job, what would YOU want for Christmas?