So a while back, I made a list of actresses that made me want to throw up in my mouth. Now, I'd like to the same with the men. Since my dear friend TV Girl has dedicated a blog to TV, she has made me think more in depthly (is that word?) regarding actors and the craft in general.
Asiankp's BlackList of No Talent Ass Clowns (list is subject to debate):
1.) Paul Walker-if you look past the beautiful blue eyes and a jaw chiseled by Michelangelo himself, the man cannot act. He just cant. Anyone who disagrees with me on this should watch "Into the Blue."
2.) Josh Hartnett-Again, he has a beautiful jawline but since when did squinting become an acting technique?
3.) Chad Michael Murray-a well placed sigh here and there and a look of pained anguish to convey every emotion. It's like he knows he's awful and he apologizing to the audience already.
4.) Ashton Kutcher-like a kid on a sugar high. A perpetual sugar high. He did the comedy thing (Dude Where's My Car) and then the serious thing (Butterfly Effect) but lets be honest, do you ever see him as anything else but Kelso?
5.) Dane Cook-enough already. I'm sick of you and your tourgasm. You make me want to pluck out my eyes.
6.) Hayden Christensen-Who can forget his anguished Darth Vader screaming, "Padme, nooooo"?
7.) Orlando Bloom-again the squinting...although I do enjoy him in Lord of the Rings but what man in his right mind gets overshadowed by a hobbit? And Viggo Mortensen pretty much eclipsed any other man in that series.
8.) Arnold--please never come back. stay in california.
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4 comments:
My lord your brilliant! What debate, everything you say is completely true. I do have to ask how you know what Josh Hartnet's jaw looks like, because I can't stop staring at the unibrow long enough to look at anything else. If he was plucked properly I swear I wouldn't know what he looked like.
But shouldn't Tom Welling be on this list?
Um, I love this list, and I think I might love you.
My favorite line of Paul Walkers to quote (may he remain gorgeous forever) is from that car movie....whatever: "Dude! I almost had you!" except Paul's surfer version is like "Doooooood. I allmost haaaaaad yooou."
To all the boys on this list: just shut up and be pretty. Play mutes. Except Chad Michael Murray. Get a different profession, you're horrible and not fun to look at.
Tiff...I totally agree...that line of Paul Walkers has probably got to go down in history as "Worst Line Delivered...EVER."
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