Recap

Meeting went quite well.

Favorite phrases:

"We Brits love our tea."
"When Child #1 doesn't get enough sleep, it can be a bloody nuisance."
"Is nannying a chosen profession or rather a sort of stop-gap?"

I'm thinking that stop-gap is the new funemployment.

Accent this...

I have a prospective client meeting tomorrow to pick up some more gigs. This family is a friend of a friend and I'm sure everything will go swimmingly. Except this family is British. And absolutely British.

My first phone message went something like this, "Hello Kay Pea, this is Mrs. UK. I'm a friend of a friend. Wondering if you might be interested in some babysitting perhaps once a month or so? Feel free to ring me on my mobile or call the house directly."

I call back and we exchange pleasantries and she says, "Well, yes, let's see, perhaps you could come over around 3pm. We'll have some tea and Child #1 should just be getting back from elementary so you can meet her. Child #2 is just about 3 and he's quite cute. They are quite lovely children. I'm sure you need to be getting on then, we'll fancy a meeting later."

Brilliant. I will enjoy this. Although, those of you who know me well know that I have a weird tendency to try and imitate an accent if its spoken at me. It's some weird thing I noticed when I was travelling Europe and I'm told its quite annoying. I only hope I can maintain my decorum and not screw this up.

Revisiting Brideshead

What happened?

The last couple nights I've been out, I've been trying to be social. This has upsides. However, the median age of these "people" has been 21. Now I'm not saying that 21 is young and immature, I'm just shocked that I've somehow managed to hit all the areas that are overpopulated with these fresh, young co-eds. Perhaps I should be hitting up Bingo Night at the local church or the canasta night at the YMCA. At least there I won't have high school graduates telling me that I'm like, so, like, SOOOO super old.

Me Want iPHONE

This has been dominating my thoughts lately. And for no good reason. I just covet it.

Moving On

Please forgive the teen-angtsy post below. I'm not really sure what thats about. I would delete it but maybe you already read it and then you'll think I'm embarrassed, which I am, but not enough to delete the whole post because it rings true in some respects and in others not. Either way, please forgive.

I've been trying to branch out lately. Yesterday I ate breakfast before 10am. And I also spent 3 hours at the library looking and reading the first and last pages of books that had interesting covers. Unfortunately, I was 0 for 6 on the "I actually like it enough to check it out" scale. I ended up coming home with Brideshead Revisited and a collection of short stories by Kurt Vonnegut. Reading is really quite a wonderful activity and I should take advantage of it before I have to start shopping in the large-print section because there are a number of good books that are not in large print and that is just sad. For the old folks. Plus, literacy is a gift and I shouldn't squander it.

On a slightly sadder note, my dear Animal is moving out in a week or two. This makes me very sad especially since she is the best cook in the apt., the best cleaner, best smoking buddy, sounding board, etc. She is also responsible for a majority of the decor in the apt. so our walls are now bare and look like a prison cell. A poorly lit prison cell. Think Dantes in the Chateau d'If. I've taken it upon myself to decorate the main room and I've found the following prints that, when I have more money, I'll buy. We are trying to go for an "old Chicago" theme. A sampling below.

Validation

Hello God, its me, Kay Pea. Are you there?

Many nights I've laid awake in my cell-block sized room muttering that phrase over and over again. And while I do not doubt the existence of God, sometimes I wonder what He's thinking. I feel as though I'm been living my life relatively well and relatively according to the purpose. I do not expect a reward here and now, of course, although at some point, I'd like to think that its paying off. I'm not exactly sure what I'm saying. Its Friday night at 1am. And I'm sober. Maybe thats the problem.

We Need A TV

Thats it. Otherwise the four of us will spend our weekday evenings huddled around a laptop. And while that is very good for bonding, it does nothing to help our posture or our rapidly burning retinas. Help.

RIP Patrick

Ah Patrick. As I sit here basking in this RED DAWN, I feel as though your GHOST is looking over my shoulder making sure that this post does you justice. At the risk of sounding like an OUTSIDER, I want you to know, POINT BREAK, that I will miss your DIRTY DANCING and your POWDER BLUE eyes. I will be sure to pass on my condolences to your NEXT OF KIN. So I hope you take ONE LAST DANCE and I won't be able to pass a ROADHOUSE without thinking of you. You were a BEAST.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR.

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

Today's Inspiration

The Day Creativity Died

It's small so you can't really see the tagline but it oh so cleverly says, "Tuesdays are a bitch." You are lucky I spared you the other CW advertisement for an already angsty show that rightly ended several decades ago that states, "Menage a Tuesday." Is it just me or has the CW hit a new high of trashy?

Yesterday I Took a Little Trip

No big deal.

26 Things I'd Like to Do Before Turning 27

1.) Become fluent in sign language

2.) Become fluent in Korean

3.) Make something for this.

4.) Bake a pie from scratch

5.) Finish reading this and this.

6.) Recycle

7.) Verbally reprimand the dogwalker who lets their dog poop on the sidewalk

8.) Make a sculpture out of fruit

9.) Make tapas

10.) Have a baby*

11.) Not second guess myself on anything

12.) Travel to the West Coast

13.) Travel to the East Coast

14.) Submit at least two more stories for this. **

15.) Begin ideas for the screenplay

16.) Donate blood

17.) Make slideshow for my parents anniversary

18.) Sort through all my old memorabilia

19.) Make the big plunge and move to LA

20.) Make a difference in the life of someone else

21.) Watch at least half of the Oscar winning films for Best Picture

22.) Write a legit fan letter and ask for a signed picture

23.) Start reading this trilogy.

24.) Take the GRE

25.) Run a marathon

26.) Abolish fear

*Obviously this is farcical.

**Already submitted one which was a huge step for me.  A story about live bull-riding. 

YESTERDAY

So, yesterday was my birthday. I've never been a huge fan of birthdays and I still think they are pointless but I had a nice one. It spanned the entire weekend and consisted of tenderloin, a movie, laughter, cigarettes, orangina, strawberries, whipped cream, funfetti cake, brunch, and golf. Like I said, a fun time. I think tomorrow I'm going to make a list of 26 things I'd like to do before I turn 27 because lists are fun. And I'm all about the fun.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but I'm learning sign language. I feel like its important to constantly increase your brain power and I wanted to learn a language. So far, my favorite phrase is "This dress is ugly and difficult." Although with my abnormally small and un-manicured hands, I feel as though I have the deaf person's equivalent of a speech impediment. However, I've found that studying while listening to Celine Dion actually increases memory and helps focus the brain on the task at hand.

Speaking of music, I'm digging Matt&Kim these days. Why? Because they have a good sound and they don't have some weird, ironic band name. Also, Moby's "One of These Mornings" has been on heavy rotation. I don't know why but I find its rather haunting melody and lyrical redundancy rather comforting. Like an old shoe.

And so, as I embark on my 26th year of living, I pledge to increase my carbon footprint by 10 and blog more. You can thank me later.

Out of My League

I'm often felt this way in certain situations but have always managed to come up with some slightly awkward, humorous way of deflecting my feelings of inferiority. It works, most of the time. In college I was lucky enough to meet some people who were talented, gregarious, intelligent and all around kick ass. They even became close friends. And my need for snarky comments deflecting my inferiority became less of a need and more of sideshow trick.
However, that need is returning.

Check out this blog where my friends do fascinating feats...its cleverly titled All Gussied Up. I have yet to contribute since my skills in the "crafty" department score -100 on a scale from 0-10. I sense they know this and have only included me on this blog to flaunt their wonders in my face. HA. I kid. But seriously, they must know that I will only do stuff like this for a project of such magnitude that actually requires real work.

The need for the snark returns. I've missed it. But honestly, I am working on hand-carving a new gravy boat for Easter.

Summatime

Brilliant.

I'm in Milwaukee, freshly burned from a day at the lake. The fam headed up there to reconnect with relatives that we havent seen in forever and relatives who happened to be in town conveniently for a gathering. Most people call it a reunion. I hate that word.

At this gathering, we decided to play Scrabble and my 6 yr. old cousin had to help me since I seem to have lost every creative bone in my body as well as my grasp of grammar and my command of spelling.

Someday I would like to live in a lakehouse complete with a loft, a jetski and some sort of boat. I will now spend the rest of my adult life scrimping and saving my pennies for one. Goodbye luxuries...hello nice lakehouse where I can retire and eat pie all day.

I've decided that my life narrator is going to be the guy who narrates that show Pushing Daisies. He has a good, strong, clear voice with a hint of British accent and knows to put the right emphasis on the right syllable. He would properly hit the right highs and lows of my life with gusto.

I am extremely thankful for Youtube these days. I'm able to do a significant amount of celebrity stalking thanks to this wonderful invention. I'm also able to watch random movies (Me Without You) and obscure British television shows (The Streets-not bad) for free with a semi-clear quality.

My mind is in fragments right now due to the significant amount of stress that has been piling and festering. Hence the broken, slightly inane post. Here's the thing: I have misplaced that rat's ass I could give. I'm sure it will turn up someday.

Kay Pea, out.

Old Lady

I'm starting to feel like a real old lady. My back and neck are constantly hurting. I can't sit in the same position too long without having to get up and walk around. Varicose veins are starting to seep in. I watched a documentary last night about septua-and-octo-genarians and bawled my eyes out. I'm about 3 cans of Ensure away from becoming the spitting image of my Nanna at 80.

I become increasingly cranky and ornery after dinner. I'm this close to hitting up Kohl's for a mu-mu and a stocking cap. And don't get me started on granny panties. Those have been in the drawer since '99.

Despite all this, I manage to live with some very vibrant, sassy and young ladies who attempt to keep me "young and fun." They have turned our apartment into a lounge of sorts which brings in all sorts of interesting characters. Their energy sometimes forces me to sit in my room alone and cry about my gray hairs and my "growing as I type" varicose veins. Yet, I am so thankful that they are here. And I would probably be dead already if they weren't.

Consider our now weekly summer schedule:

Monday-darts and beers at our local bar

Tuesday-Movie in the Park (Chicago does this every summer, they show movies on a big screen at several of the local parks around the city. Think drive-in-movie scene except its a huge lawn and there is wine and cheese.)

Wednesday-Game and/or Movie Night

Thursday-Bar Specials (side note: This is also a soccer night for me. Even old people need to exercise sometimes)

Friday, Saturday, Sunday-dancing or beach or sun-bathing or cookouts or neighborhood festivals or downtown or dining out and, on a rare occasion, sleep.

Thank goodness for the youth. They really are the leaders of tomorrow.

Give 'em the old...

Razzle Dazzle. RIP. We'll miss you and all your wit.

Dont stay away too long...

Mommy...Wow

I'm a big kid now. Today I went to Target and dropped some serious bones on a set of nice sheets and a nice comforter. As I was perusing the aisles, I started to second guess myself and had to immediately call my shrink, aka. my mother. She simply stated that "yes, this is a good purchase...no, you wont regret it...yes, people do spend money on these kind of things...yes, it does matter sometimes...no, I'm not judging you....for gosh sakes, KP, you have the same sheets you had in college, its about time."

So, I have new nice sheets and a new nice comforter. And I feel great. I also bought a Map of the World shower curtain. I've always, always wanted one of these and my good friends D&A have one in their house and everytime I visit, I spend an extra half hour in the shower looking at the map. (FYI to D&A, you can send me the water bill.)

My new functional and educational shower curtain:



The old sheets-BOO:




The new sheets:

And yes, this blog post is entirely about sheets and shower curtains. My life is just that exciting.