Mother Fried Chicken

There is nothing so tasty as some country fried chicken...and because of that, I've included this musical treat for ya. HI-larious.

Ackk...Disclaimer

I realize that my previous post title includes the word "pap." To clear this up before people think that I'm disgusting...I am referring to a lyric from the musical "Newsies" and "pap" is short for the newspaper not that uncomfortable womanly procedure. Sorry to test your gag reflexes, readers.

Look at that pap with my face beaming...

Tomorrow they may wrap fishes in it...but I was a star for one whole minute. Check it out while Asiankp tries to be funny. I fail miserably and even the dude with emo-glasses is funnier than me...sad day.

It's Baaack...

So, the World Series of Pop Culture has returned and asiankp is back with a new team and a new team name. Asiankp has a strong feeling that this time, she will emerge victorious. A teammates' procrastination kept her out of the game last year but this time...this is THE time. Spanky and The Pirates will dominate. Yes, that is our team name...a new moniker for a new time. Gone are the days of "Your Hollywood Marriage is a Sham," and "Spanky and the Pirates" will be the vessel that sails to the waters of glory. The prize money has increased and so has Asiankp's appetite for fame and fortune.

Today is...

the day that I, asiankp, have decreed, November 16th, as official "Get rid of something" Day. It can be something as simple as getting rid of an old pair of slacks or something more philosophical like getting rid of poverty or in Asiankp's case, its getting rid of liars...seriously, I hate liars. They can all go to the place of Dante's greatest literary work. I think they have a reserved spot too...

My Name is...

In honor of Thanksgiving, one of Asiankp's favorite holidays that celebrates the peaceful unity of Native Americans and Pilgrims, I decided to share with readers a rap/short poem that my brother made up. Or maybe he didnt make it up; but he sang it one Thanksgiving many moons again. And no, my brother is not K-Fed. He's better.

Turkey Rap

My name is Mr. Turkey and I'm here to say
I aint going in any oven today
So go get your brats, burgers and buns,
Cuz eatin' me aint no fun.

Groove Wallow Skip Sprawl

Thanks to truly amazing cousins, Asiankp has been introduced to this great band: Old Crow Medicine Show. The song "Wagon Wheel" has become my comfort song.

Rock me Mama like a wagon wheel...rock me Mama like the wind and the rain...hey Mama rock me.


-special thanks to MG


I urge you all to find your comfort song and let asiankp know.

FYI...

Playing The White Stripes song: My Doorbell actually does make the chinese food come faster.

Yum.

Sign Me Up...

I was reading the Red Eye (Chicago commuter paper) and I noticed an ad for Harold Washington College. I continued to read the "new classes offered" section. Now if the following list of subjects doesn't make you suddenly get off your butt and register, then asiankp is no longer asian. For example, new classes offered are: Beginning Golf, Contracts&Torts, Jazzercise, Microsoft Word Advanced, Peachtree, and my personal favorite, Homeland Security Pandemic Training. Wow.
And if that's not enough, you can now get certified in the following areas: Basic College Math, Belly Dancing, and again my personal favorite: Stepping.

So classes begin Monday, October 30th...I'm pretty sure Asiankp will be stepping.

Asiankp=Terminator

So today was incredibly interesting. We had many clients in the office so my big duty of the day was fetching the lunch orders. I don't mind this because it involves getting outside the office in the fun downtown area and investigating restaurants I could never afford. Well, one particular restaurant I entered had quite the fancy decor and a door patron. We had put in a large order for takeout and my boss had asked that I double check the order to make sure nothing was missing. Standard request. When I recieved the food, I repeated my boss' simple request. The man who was attending me, let's call him Lou, starts flipping out. Lou scoffs at my request calling it unreasonable and uneccessary and totally inconsiderate and the list goes on and on and on. One would think I had just asked him to stand on his head and juggle the matzo balls. What could I say to Lou? I sheepishly took the bags of food and muttered something about just trying to do my job. I returned to the office, reported what occurred to my boss and went on my merry way.
A few hours later, my boss gets a call from a man. Let's call him Harry. Apparently Harry is calling to apologize for Lou's behavior. My boss explains that I mentioned that Lou was rude but it wasn't a big deal. Harry says that Lou's behavior is unacceptable and he has been let go. Let go?? Yes, as in dimissed and fired. Harry also offers to buy the office free lunch. Now Lou was rude but you know, he might have a had a bad day or something. Now we'll never know.

Looks like I'll get to eat there after all...

Grin and BEAR it

Chicago is home to many things I love: Giordano's pizza, Greektown, Navy Pier, and of course, the Shedd Aquarium. It is also home to many things I loathe: numero uno being the Chicago Bears. Growing up in Wisconsin, I was taught to hate the devil, Herb Kohl, and the Chicago Bears. I dont need to tell anyone that the disgusted Bears are now 6-0 having staged a ridiculously termed "comeback" game against the Arizona Cardinals last night. I am sick to my stomach at the thought of a Bears 6-0 team. The very thought of the Bears winning the divison and possibly the NFC makes me gag more than watching Jim McMahon do the "Super Bowl Shuffle." All this Super Bowl talk makes me even more ill especially when I think of the VINCE LOMBARDI trophy in the hands of some cannibalistic mammals. Think Brian Urlacher. This fall season is rapidly becoming unBEARable. Look, I'm even making ridiculous Bear puns. Someone save me.

The Dawn of a New Age

Fall is here...winter is fast approaching...Halloween decorations have been here since September. It is time for asiankp's makeover. Blog makeover that is; although asiankp has no moral qualms about drastic makeovers. If you would like to sponsor's Asiankp's liposuction or her facelift, please send donations to 1001 Drury Lane, Muffinland. That, of course, is a fake address because I don't know what kind of crazies exist on this blogger. If you really want to send me money, I can provide a real address for you.
But seriously, fall makes me think of shedding one coat to reveal a brighter, crispier one. Take the trees in autumn. Think about what they do. Think of asiankp. Now think of asiankp as a tree in autum. You guessed it. I'm shedding a new coat.